when you find yourself in need of a good face-contorting,
snot-running-down-your-chin, therapeutic sob, popping
on one of these sad flicks should do the trick.
WORDSSAM PRENDERGASTthetearjerkers
MY GIRL
Vada is a precocious 11-year-old who lives in a funeral home with
her widowed dad and spends most of her free time hanging out
with Thomas J, her slightly dorkier friend who is allergic to literally
everything. Vada is also a class-A hypochondriac who spends a lot
of her time at the doctors getting her throat checked for chicken
bones, but that’s an aside. Over the course of one summer,
everything in Vada’s life goes wrong. The super-cool funeral home
make-up artist Shelley betrays her by dating her dad, and Vada
learns some hard truths about puberty and menstruation. None of
that really holds a flame to the summer’s blurst tragedy, though.
Moments after sharing a very brief kiss, Vada and Thomas J come
across a beehive that they idiotically smash, and a few tragic
decisions later, Thomas J is dead. The waterworks will start: When
Vada leans over Thomas J’s casket and cry-screams, “Where are his
glasses? He can’t see without his glasses!”
WENDY AND LUCY
It’s not a stretch to call this the saddest dog movie of all time.
A down-on-her-luck woman, Wendy – aka Michelle Williams – is
heading to Alaska to find work. She’s broke and not super-happy,
but it’s not all bad because her very good dog, Lucy, is travelling
with her. Then Wendy’s car breaks down because shitty things are
always happening in her life. Cue a series of unfortunate events.
Wendy accidentally-on-purpose shoplifts a couple of groceries
and, while she’s being arrested, Lucy disappears. Tension builds as
Wendy searches for her best and only friend. Warning: there’s no
happy ending. Realising she can’t provide Lucy with the happy life
she deserves, Wendy plays with her pal one last time, then jumps
on a train to Alaska in a state of what can only be despair. The
waterworks will start: When Wendy chooses a better life for her
best pal dog and a pit of loneliness for herself.
MOONLIGHT
Moonlight follows one man, Chiron, from childhood to adolescence
to a lonely adulthood dealing drugs. In a particularly bleak
incarnation of 1980s Miami, ‘Little’ (that’s child Chiron) navigates
bullies, his mother, and homophobic slurs. Everything’s in place to
tell us that Chiron’s doomed right from the start, and that’s pretty
much the way things go for the next hour-and-a-half. If you’re
looking to rage against the festering evils of homophobia and then
follow that rage with a quiet cry, Chiron’s story will do it. By the
time he’s a teenager, he’s crushing hard on his friend Kevin, but
literally 12 hours after they make out (and then some), Kevin’s
bashing Chiron’s guts in. Even the good dudes in this film are
depressing, because this is no glorified America. The waterworks
will start: When Chiron’s night with Kevin is followed by a morning
of betrayal and violence.KRAMER VS. KRAMER
Ted Kramer (Dustin Hoffman) is a shitty dad who becomes a much
better dad over the course of this film. When his wife Joanna (Meryl
Streep) leaves him, it’s Kramer’s job to raise their son, Billy. Ted has
very little experience raising children – presumably because he’s so
far spent Billy’s childhood being a workaholic schmuck. At first he
bumbles around, but eventually gets the hang of things, and soon
son and father are an all-American dream team. Just as everything
is settling down, Joanna returns and takes Ted to court, because
leaving for a year-and-a-half doesn’t actually relinquish custody.
Things turn nasty, and when the court awards the case to Joanna,
Ted’s faced with an ugly decision: hand over custody, or drag Billy
through the courts again to appeal the decision. This flick is sad,
then happy, then happy-sad – a true emotional rollercoaster. The
waterworks will start: When it seems like this father-son duo will
never share another French toast breakfast.popcorn