his mouth, the high-pitched squeal emerges from his throat. Then
something grabs his legs, pulling him under the muddy earth.
And then he wakes up. Sweating. Panting. Always the same. The
worst part is not the sleeplessness. The worst part is the general
darkness the dream leaves over him, a gray film that clouds the day.
Even his happy moments feel encased, like holes jabbed in a hard sheet
of ice.
He dresses quietly and goes down the stairs. The taxi is parked by
the corner, its usual spot, and Eddie wipes the moisture from its
windshield. He never speaks about the darkness to Marguerite. She
strokes his hair and says, "What's wrong?" and he says, "Nothing, I'm
just beat," and leaves it at that. How can he explain such sadness when
she is supposed to make him happy? The truth is he cannot explain it
himself. All he knows is that something stepped in front of him,
blocking his way, until in time he gave up on things, he gave up
studying engineering and he gave up on the idea of traveling. He sat
down in his life. And there he remained.
This night, when Eddie returns from work, he parks the taxi by the
corner. He comes slowly up the stairs. From his apartment, he hears
music, a familiar song.
"You made me love you
I didn't want to do it,
I didn't want to do it... ."
He opens the door to see a cake on the table and a small white bag,
tied with ribbon.
"Honey?" Marguerite yells from the bedroom. "Is that you?"
He lifts the white bag. Taffy. From the pier.
"Happy birthday to you.. ." Marguerite emerges, singing in her soft
sweet voice. She looks beautiful, wearing the print dress Eddie likes,
her hair and lips done up. Eddie feels the need to inhale, as if
undeserving of such a moment. He fights the darkness within him,
"Leave me alone," he tells it. "Let me feel this the way I should feel it."
Marguerite finishes the song and kisses him on the lips.
"Want to fight me for the taffy?" she whispers.
He moves to kiss her again. Someone raps on the door.
"Eddie! Are you in there? Eddie?"
Mr. Nathanson, the baker, lives in the ground-level apartment
behind the store. He has a telephone. When Eddie opens the door, he is
standing in the doorway, wearing a bathrobe. He looks concerned.