Daily Mail - 05.03.2020

Daily Mail, Thursday, March 5, 2020^ Page 43

femail cover

Chilling: Ioan

Gruffudd and

Joanne

Froggatt in

ITV date rape

drama Liar

... and another victim shares her very different diary

retaliates but also a sense of relief.

Since my children were born, the

feeling has been growing that I

need to protect them and that

means making sure he never hurts

anyone else.

It all seems like a blur, having to

re-live it all in my statement. They

wanted to know every little detail,

what he did and when. They said it

was historical rape but that it was

never too late to report it and it

was good that I had.

I know I’ve done the right thing

but I’m worried what Simon might

do now.

September 1, 2015

SImon has been arrested and

granted bail but is not allowed to

contact me.

I feel terrified he is going to hurt

me. I have had heavy-duty locks

installed on my doors and the

police have told me there is a red-

flag alert, so if I phone them, they

will come immediately. I’ve been

assigned an officer, Hannah, who

deals with sexual offences.

She says my case will succeed

and Simon could go to prison for

12 to 15 years. She told me he had

guilt written all over his face in his

interview. I don’t know if she’s

saying this to make me feel better

but it’s good to hear.

As it was so long ago, she says

they need to gather evidence and

will be speaking to both my and

Simon’s friends and family to get

c h a r a c t e r r e f e r e n c e s. I f e e l

uncomfortable, embarrassed and

scared by this but I know they

need to do it. I told her the

counsellor should have a record.

I speak to Hannah every week on

the phone and she keeps me up to

date with things.

September 5, 2015

SImon has been charged with

rape but our counsellor says she’s

destroyed all her notes, which

means that, other than character

references, it is now my word

a g a i n s t h i s. I g a v e a v i d e o

statement at the police station for

court. It took hours and it was

hard going through it all again so

graphically — the shame, the pain,

the violence — these are memories

I’ve tried to bury.

Jack supports my decision to

report Simon. I’m really struggling

with my mental health, though. I

just can’t cope with life and the

responsibilities of being a mother.

Hannah has put me in touch with

a w o m a n n a m e d n i k i t a , a n

independent adviser from Refuge

(a charity supporting others like

me) and we’ve arranged to meet.

April 2016

IT HAS been really tough waiting

for the trial, which is due to start

next month. Things have ended

with Jack. I’m not strong enough

to be in a relationship right now,

so I ended things. Being a single

parent to two young children will

be hard but nikita has been a life-

line. We meet for a coffee every

week and she is always there on

t h e p h o n e t o h e l p m e w i t h

whatever I need.

She took me to the court to show

me where I’ll stand, where Simon

will be and the judge and jury. She

explained I can give evidence from

a different room via video link or

behind a screen. I decided I

wanted the jury to see me in

person. I want them to see my face

and see I am telling the truth.

nikita explains there will be a

barrister presenting my case in

court who works for the Crown

Prosecution Service. I feel quite

overwhelmed by it all.

May 2016

my HAnd is shaking and I can

hardly see to write for tears.

I gave evidence at the trial today.

I’ve failed completely. Simon’s

defence barrister, a woman, paid

for with legal aid, I believe, tied me

in knots, dismissing it as a sex

game that went wrong.

I don’t know how long I was on

the stand but it felt like for ever.

nikita had warned I’d be cross-

examined but I’d thought it would

be the criminal, not the victim,

who was grilled. I broke down and

we had to have a break.

At one point the barrister said I

was only doing this for the criminal

injury compensation (around

£11,000 on conviction) but I hadn’t

known about this when I reported

him. my dad’s a wealthy man. I

don’t need money.

She asked me why I hadn’t

reported it earlier, she asked if it

was not true that we had a good

sex life. It was just awful.

Afterwards, my mum held me as

I sobbed. my family couldn’t be in

court in case they got called as

witnesses. Being cross-examined

felt like being raped all over again.

I am starting to doubt he will be

found guilty.

my sister Louise gave evidence.

Heavily pregnant, she found it

tough. She told how she once saw

Simon trying to break my arm but

the defence lawyer was hard on

her, too.

She came out and collapsed on

the floor. She felt she wasn’t heard

in court and that she’d failed me.

Afterwards, nikita told me the

counsellor refused to come to

court, saying her car had been

smashed up and she was too

scared to testify. Why don’t they

make her? or at least insist she

gives a written statement?

Later in the month

THe worst of days. I am too numb

to cry. Hannah phoned to say

Simon has been found not guilty.

The jury didn’t agree there was

e n o u g h e v i d e n c e b e y o n d

reasonable doubt.

The next thing I knew, I woke up

in an ambulance after suffering a

panic attack and blacking out.

my life has been on hold for so

long and it feels like it’s all been

for nothing.

Why was I told over the phone?

It feels like it all meant nothing

and I have failed. I can’t cope with

the pain of it all. I feel like there’s

nothing left of me. I don’t know if I

can carry on.

March 2020

neARLy four years on, I still

regret reporting the rape. even if

Simon had gone to prison, the

scars of what I went through in

court will stay with me for ever.

I have a new partner, Tom, who

works in retail, but I don’t feel

strong enough to go back to work.

We met through a friend and he is

such a good man.

We had a beautiful little boy

Joshua two years ago. But for all

the good things in my life, I still

struggle to cope.

I’ve tried to kill myself countless

times since the trial and spent

time in hospital as my mental

health continues to decline. I’m on

antidepressants but it’s not

helping, so I’m waiting for a

referral to see another therapist.

Tom knows I feel low and tries to

support me the best he can.

I know I have children and there-

fore shouldn’t be thinking about

suicide but I can’t shake the feel-

ing they would be better off with-

out me. Knowing he got away with

it is more than I can bear. I know

someone else is going to go

through what I did because I

didn’t do well in court. I feel like

I’ve failed my daughter and worry

about her safety. It’s exhausting.

Although nikita stayed in touch,

I never heard from the police

ag a i n a f t e r t h a t p h o n e c a l l

from Hannah.

Honestly, I would say that unless

things change, if it happened to

me again, I wouldn’t report it.

R a p e t r i a l s s h o u l d n’ t h a v e

random members of the public on

the jury. It should be specialists

such as doctors or psychologists

w h o c a n u n d e r s t a n d a n d

empathise. And you shouldn’t be

cross-examined so brutally. It was

relentless and so distressing.

But what truly haunts me is the

fact that 12 men and women on

the jury thought he was innocent

and I was lying. And he is a free to

do this again.

n SEVERAL names have been

changed to protect identities.

n FoR support call the free 24-hour

national domestic abuse helpline

on 0808 2000 247 or go to

nationaldahelpline.org.uk.

Convicted: Mpilo

‘Mike’ Mthunzi

November 2017

IT HAs just been my 17th birthday and my

life has turned upside down. Rachael

found out Mike raped me and told the

police — who told my parents. It’s a relief

they know. Mum hugged me and said it

was my choice what I wanted to do now.

I’ve decided to take it further. We

phoned the police and an officer, sophie,

came the next day to take a statement.

It was hard to say in front of Mum — I

didn’t want Dad there as I felt too ashamed

— but sophie was kind. she did ask about

my sexual history but she was under-

standing. I asked if Mike would know and

she said yes, which scared me. she said

he’d be given a restraining order.

December 2017

MIke has been arrested, charged and

remanded in custody. As there’s no

physical evidence, it’s going to be my

word against his, but he has a record of

other crimes.

sophie helped me record a video

interview at the station, which took

three hours and will be used in court.

I don’t want my siblings to know yet. It’s

dawning on me I’ll have to tell strangers

in graphic detail what happened.

April 2018

I CAn tell my parents are worried about

me. sophie said I can give evidence from

another room or behind a screen, but

I’ve decided I want him to see me.

May 2018

WHen I faced him in court, he didn’t even

look at me. I was shaking as I started to

speak. I knew it was important to tell the

jury how he had hurt me.

His barrister said so many lies! He

said I initiated it or took drugs

willingly. But they believed me.

He was found guilty.

If things hadn’t gone my way, I

would have been very scared

that he would find and hurt me.

Later that month

We WenT back to court today

for sentencing. I read out my

victim impact statement. The lawyers

talked about his criminal past, which the

jury weren’t allowed to know before,

including drugs, possessing a machete

and grabbing a woman round the throat.

Then the judge told Mike — whose real

name was Mpilo Mthunzi — that he

would go to prison for 16 years for

raping me and supplying drugs. I

cried happy tears.

March 2020

I’ Ve decided to become a police

officer. I’ve found strength in this,

and I am determined to make the

best I can of my life.

n L AuR A’S name has

been changed.

Picture: 2 bro

Thers

Pic Tures for

iTV