Daily Mirror - 05.03.2020

(^12) DAILY MIRROR THURSDAY 05.03.
DM1ST
Unfiltered and undiluted
Being hands-off
better than being
another statistic
EvEry day, and
seemingly every hour, my
WhatsApp alert pings
with yet more coronavirus-
related news, fake news,
memes, cures, potions,
preventions and concern
from family abroad who
somehow think Britain is
under siege.
We’re clearly in the grip of
something serious.
NHS England has declared
it a level-four incident, the top
level of emergency and the
Queen’s wearing gloves to
hand out gongs.
And yet, despite all this and
repeated warnings that we need to wash
our hands a zillion times a day, I still see
people acting as if we weren’t on the
verge of a global epidemic.
I’ve watched with horror as people
everywhere sneeze, cough and splutter
into their hands and then casually
proceed to touch everything in sight.
I’ve seen, sorry to be gross, nose-
picking, finger-licking, eyeball-rubbing,
all taking place with abandon.
The final straw for me was when a
diner in a high-street sandwich shop
spread their cold and lurgy all over a
customer newspaper and then put it
back on the rack. Eew.
It was then I decided I need to take the
drastic step of no longer shaking hands
with anyone who isn’t my child until this
whole thing has blown over. And I think
the Department of Health should be
urging the public to do the same.
It hasn’t been easy and I’ve had to build
up my resistance to hands being thrust
at me at every turn. At church on Sunday
I couldn’t bring myself to
spurn fellow parishioners
during the sign of peace.
By the time Tuesday
evening’s parent teacher
evening rolled around I was
far braver.
I don’t mean it to sound
rude, but the thought of
shaking hands with around
a dozen people who in turn
had already shaken hands
with dozens more parents
was too much to bear.
Did I get some funny
reactions? You bet. One
teacher witheringly said,
“you’re funny” and not in a
good way as I splashed on the hand sani-
tiser for good measure. Some seemed
genuinely offended. In the end it was
easier to say I had a cold, rather than
explain I was trying to do my bit to stop
coronavirus spreading.
My teen told me off for being rude and
embarrassing. But what’s embarrassing
about prioritising my health over
someone else’s hurt feelings?
It reminds me of the scene in the
thriller The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
when the villain tells a trussed-up Daniel
Craig, who he’s about to torture: “It’s hard
to believe fear of offending is stronger
than the fear of pain.” Craig had ended up
in a dungeon out of politeness even
though he knew something was wrong.
I’m not about to make that mistake.
So please don’t be offended I don’t
reciprocate when you extend your
hand. I’m not being rude. I just have
an acute case of hypochondria. Last
time I checked, there was no cure for
that either.
‘‘I decided I
won’t shake
hands with
anyone who
isn’t my child
E VA SIMPSON
[email protected]
@evamsimpson
It’s a real
plus point
I can’t wait to watch
the BBC’s adaptation
of Malorie Blackman’s
Noughts & Crosses
which I’m currently
reading with my son.
He’s actually
looking forward to it
too – probably because
he thinks it means he
won’t have to read the
rest of the book. But
for a show I can watch
with a teen who’s
usually glued to
youTube in his
bedroom I’d gladly pay
my licence fee.
MIGRANTS’ ORDEAL FLEEING TURKEY
It’s inhuman
to leave
them but
people feel
abandoned
by Europe
kostas police officer
on greek island lesbos
Shamsullah
Noorzia with
Mahamad,
Yasin & Sahirah
LAST
hOpE
Mahamad with the family’s belongings
ALL wE hAvE
Family are told to board a minibus
TAKEN OFF