acorn variety on your plate next to the turkey last Thanksgiving. All you
need is the few techniques that follow.
Just as anglers throw out a dragonfly to get the fish to bite, all you have
to do is throw out the right questions to get people to open up. Dale
Carnegies adage, show sincere interest and people will talk, only goes so
far. As they say in poker, it takes jacks or better to open. And in
conversation, it takes cursory knowledge or better about their field to get
them to really open up. You must have knowledgeable curiosity, the kind
that makes you sound like youre worth talking to.
In this section, we explore techniques that are Open Sesames to get
people gabbing with you like an insider.
How to Be a ModerDay Renaissance Man or Woman
Whenever friends visit my hometown, New York City, I warn them
Never ask anyone riding in the subway for directions.
Because Ill get mugged? they fearfully ask.
No, just because youll never get where youre going! Most Big Apple
subway riders know only two things about the subway: where they get on
and where they get off. They know nothing about the rest of the system.
Most people are like NYC strap-hangers when it comes to their hobbies and
interests. They know their own pastimes, but all the others are like unvisited
stations.
My unmarried (and wishing she werent) friend Rita has a bad case of
bowlers thumb. Every Wednesday night shes bowling up a storm with her
friends. She is forever discussing her scores, her averages, and her high
game. Another single and searching friend Walter is into white-water
rafting. He talks endlessly with his padling friends about which rivers hes
run, which outfitters hes gone with, and which class rapids he prefers.
Thinking my two single friends might hit it off, I introduced Walter the
paddler to Rita the bowler and mentioned their respective passions.
Oh youre a bowler! said Walter.
Yes, Rita smiled demurely, awaiting more questions about her big
bowling turn-on. Walter was silent.
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Masking her disappointment, Rita said, Uh, Leil tells me youre into
water rafting. Walter smiled proudly, awaiting further friendly interrogation
on paddling. Uh, that must be exciting. Isnt it dangerous? was the best Rita
could do.
ooja
(Ooja)
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