PART FIVE
How to Sound Like Youre Peas in a Pod
Why, Were Just Alike!
If you squint your eyes and look up carefully at a flight of birds, youll
see finches flying with finches, swallows soaring with swalows, and yellow
birds winging it with yellow birds. The avian apartheid escalates. Youll
never see a barn swallow with a bank swallow, or even a yellow bird
hanging out with a yellow finch. Somebody said it shorter: Birds of a
feather flock together.
Happily, humans are smarter than birds. In one respect, at least: we have
brains capable of overcoming bias. Really smart human beings work
together, play together, and break bread together. Does that mean their
comfort level is high? Well, that depends on the human being. Our purpose
here is not to exaine the absurdity of apartheid. It is to leave no stone
unturned in making sure people are completely comfortable doing business
or pleasure with you.
It has been proven beyond a doubt, people are most recetive to those
they feel have the same values in life. In one study,
171
individuals were first given a personality and beliefs test.They were
then paired off with a partner and told to go spend time together. Before
meeting, half the couples were told they were very similar in beliefs to their
partner. The other half were told they were dissimilar. Neither statement
was true.
However, when quizzed afterward on how much they liked each other,
partners who believed they were similar liked each other a lot more than the
couples who thought themselves to be dissimilar, demonstrating we have a
predisposition toward people we believe are just like us. We are most
comfortable giving our business and friendship to those we feel share our
values and beliefs in life. To that end I offer six techniques to create
senstions of similarity with everyone you wish.
Along with making more profound rapport with customers, friends, and
associates, using the following techniques develops a deeper understanding
and empathy with people of all races and backgrounds. It also opens doors
that might otherwise be closed to you.
How to Make Them Feel Youre of the Same Class