Wow, I thought I was really on to something!
A Wrinkle Develops
But then, whoops, at other times, Id hear that same friend say
Yeah, I hear you. Sure, that sounds good to me. I kept saying to myself
it would work.
That has a negative ring to it. He really tuned out on the whole idea.
Something tells me...
This wasnt going to be quite as easy as Id expected. However, I wasnt
ready to give up.
Once, Brenda and I went skiing with several friends. That night we
were at a party. One of our friends was telling a group of people, The ski
slopes were beautiful. Everything was so crytal clear and white.
A visual person? I asked myself.
Another skier added, The feel of the fresh snow on our faces was
terrific.
Aha, a kinesthetic person, I mused silently.
Sure enough, just then, Brenda said, Today was so silent. The only
sound you could hear was the wind in your ears as you came swooshing
down the slopes. That little riff convinced me there was something to it.
However, I still found it difficult to discern ones primary sense.
A Simple Solution
Heres what Ive found does work, and it doesnt take too much detective
work on your part. I call the technique Anatomically Correct Empathizers,
and its easy to master. Unless it is obvious the person you are speaking with
is primarily visual, auditory, or kinesthetic, simply respond in his or her
mode of the moment. Match your empathizers to the current sense someone
is talking through. For example, suppose a business colleague describing a
financial plan says, With this plan, we can see our way clear in six months.
Since this time shes using primarily visual references,
How to Make Them Think You See/Hear/Feel It Just the Way They Do
191
say I see what you mean or You really have a clear picture of that
situation.
If, instead, your colleague had said, This plan has a good ring to it, youd
substitute auditory empathizers like It does sound great, or I hear you.
A third possibility. Suppose she had said, I have a gut feeling this plan
will work. Now you give her a kinesthetic empathizer like I can understand
ooja
(Ooja)
#1