People who know each other but are just acquaintances often dicuss
facts. You know, Joe, weve had twice as many sunny days this year to date
as last. Or, Yeah, well, we finally decided to put in a swimming pool to beat
the heat.
Level Three: Feelings and Personal Questions
When people become friends, they often express their feelings to each
other, even on subjects as dull as the weather. George, I just love these
sunny days. They also ask each other personal quetions: How about you,
Betty? Are you a sun person?
Level Four: We Statements
Now we progress to the highest level of intimacy. This level is richer
than facts and creates more rapport than feelings. Its we and us statements.
Friends discussing the weather might say, If we keep having this good
weather, itll be a great summer. Lovers might say, I hope this good weather
keeps up for us so we can go swimming on our trip.
A technique to achieve the ultimate verbal intimacy grows out of this
phenomenon. Simply use the word we prematurely. You can use it to make
a client, a prospect, a stranger feel you are already friends. Use it to make a
potential romantic partner feel the two of you are already an item. I call it
the Premature We. In casual conversation, simply cut through levels one
and two. Jump straight to three and four.
Ask your prospects feelings on something the way you would query a
friend. (George, how do you feel about the new govenor?) Then use the
pronoun we when discussing anything that might affect the two of you. (Do
you think were going to prosper during his administration?) Make it a point
to concoct we sentences, the kind people instinctively reserve for friends,
lovers, and other intimates. (I think well survive while the governors in
office.)
The word we fosters togetherness. It makes the listener feel connected.
It gives a subliminal feeling of you and me against the cold, cold world.
When you prematurely say we or us, even to strangers, it subconsciously
brings them closer. It subliminally hints you are already friends. At a party,
you might say to someone standing behind you at the buffet line, Hey, this
looks great. They really laid out a nice spread for us. Or, Uh-oh, were going
to get fat if we let ourselves enjoy all of this.
Well, we have just explored how to copy our conversation partners
movements with Be a Copyclass, echo their words, evoke Potent Images
ooja
(Ooja)
#1