unwittingly start a vicious cycle. A friend ventures a compliment:
He: (smiling) Hey, thats a nice dress youre wearing. She: (frowning)
Oh, this old thing? He: (thinking) Whoops, she didnt seem to like hearing
that.
She thinks I have terrible taste to like that dress. Id better keep my
mouth shut.
Three weeks later...
She: (thinking grumpily) He doesnt ever give me complments anymore.
What a boor!
He: (thinking gloomily) Whats her problem?
220
How to Make Em Want to Compliment You 221
Girls Dont Like What?
Several months ago in one of my seminars, the group was dicussing
compliments. One fellow insisted that girls dont like compliments.
Girls dont like what? I asked incredulously.
He explained, I once told a woman she had beautiful eyes. And she said,
Boy, are you blind. The poor chap was so wounded by her reaction, he
became gun-shy and had not aimed a compliment at a female since. What a
shame for womankind and what a blight on his social skills.
Upon receiving a compliment, many people demur or proffer an
embarrassed little Thank you. Worse, they protest, Well, not really, but
thanks anyway. Some people toss it off with, just luck. When you react this
way, you visit a grave injustice on the coplimenter. You insult a well-
meaning persons powers of perception.
Vous ætes Gentil
Leave it to French folks to come up with a congenial catchall phrase.
Upon receiving a compliment, they say, Vous �tes gentil. Loosely
translated, that is How kind of you.
An American saying How kind of you could sound stilted like the little
flower girl in My Fair Lady trying to be cultured. Nevertheless, we Yanks
can express the French gentil sentiment with a technique I call
Boomeranging.
When you toss a boomerang, it makes an almost 180-degree swerve in
midair and soars back to land at the feet of the thrower. Likewise, when
someone tosses a compliment your way, let the good feelings soar back to
the tosser. Dont just say Thanks. (Or worse, Oh its nothing.) Let them know