Do you remember when you were a kid the hundreds of times Mommys
and Daddys friends asked, And what do you want to be when you grow up?
That was our cue to regale our adoring audience with dreams of being a
ballerina, a firefighter, a nurse, a cowboy, or a movie star. Well, most of our
lives wound up being a little closer to butcher, baker, or candlestick maker.
Neverthless, we all still have fantasies of our own greatness.
Even though most of us cashed in our childhood dreams of being the
star we thought wed be (so we could make some money), we all know that
deep down we are very, very, very sp cial. We say to ourselves, Maybe the
world will little note nor long remember how brilliant, how wonderful, how
witty, how creative or caring I really am. However, those who truly know
and love methey will recognize my greatness, my magic, my specialness
over all other ordinary mortals. When we find people with the supernatural
powers of perception to recognize our remarkablness, we become addicted
to the heady drug of their appreciation.
Praising someone you know and love requires a different set of skills
from complimenting a stranger. The formula to bring someone even closer
to you personally or professionally follows. I call it The Tombstone Game.
It requires a little setup.
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How to Make a Loved One Feel You Are THE Partner for Life 225
Step one: In a quiet moment chatting with your friend, your loved one,
or your business partner, tell him or her that the other day you were reading
aboutof all thingstombstones! The piece was about, you say, what people
fantasize will be inscribed above their grave after they die. You learned that
people want the quality they are most proud of in life etched in stone. Then
say, The variety is surprising. Everyone has a different self-image, a
different deep source of pride. Examples:
Here lies John Doe. He was a brilliant scientist. Here lies Diane Smith.
She was a caring woman. Here lies Billy Bucks. By golly, he could make
people laugh. Here lies Jane Wilson. She spread joy wherever she went.
Here lies Harry Jones. He lived life his way. Step two: Reveal to your
partner what you would like carved
on your tombstone. Be serious about your revelation to encourage him
or her to do likewise.
Step three: Now, you pop the question, You know, Joe, when all is said
and done, what are you most proud of? What would you like the world to
ooja
(Ooja)
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