most remember about you? What would you want the world to see carved
on your tombstone?
Perhaps your business partner Joe says, Well, I guess Id sort of like
people to know that Im a man of my word. Listen carfully. If he expounds
on it, take note of every nuance. Then file it away in your heart and dont
say a word about it again. Joe will forget you ever played The Tombstone
Game with him.
Step four: Let at least three weeks pass. Then, whenever you want to
improve the relationship, feed the information back to your partner in the
form of a compliment. Say Joe, you know the reason I really appreciate
being in business with you is because youre a man of your word.
WOW, that hits Joe like a 747 out of the sky. Finally, he says to himself,
someone who appreciates me for who I really am. Telling him you admire
him for the same reason he admires
himself has an impact on Joe like no other compliment in the world.
Now, suppose your friend is Billy Bucks, the one who wanted his wit
carved on his tombstone. Youd say, Billy, ol buddy, youre terrific. I loves ya
cause you can really make people laugh.
I Love You Because... (You Fill in the Blank)
Suppose your significant other is Jane Wilson in the preceding example.
Tell your beloved, Jane, I love you because you spread joy wherever you
go.
Suppose your life partner is Harry Jones. You take his hand and say,
Harry, I love you because you live life your way. BLAM! You have found
that tender spot where the heart and the ego blend.
Technique #59
The Tombstone Game
Ask the important people in your life what they would like engraved on
their tombstone. Chisel it into your memory but dont mention it again.
Then, when the moment is right to say I appreciate you or I love you, fill
the blanks with the very words they gave you weeks earlier.
You take peoples breath away when you feed their deepest self-image to
them in a compliment. At last, they say to themselves, someone who loves
me for who I truly am.
How to Make a Loved One Feel You Are THE Partner for Life 227
The Tombstone Game compliments are not interchangeable. Billy
Bucks might not appreciate your calling him a man of his word; Billys thing
ooja
(Ooja)
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