I would gladly have spoken pro bono for Sams group had he been up-
front about it. Instead, by not revealing WIIFM, we both lost. I lost a half
day and, because of his trickiness, he lost my free speech for his group.
Dont Deny Them the Pleasure of Helping You
Big winners also lay their cards on the table when asking someone for a
favor. Many well-meaning folks are embarrassed to say how important the
favor is to them. So they ask as though its a casual inquiry when its not.
A friend of mine named Stefan once asked me if I knew any bands his
organization could hire for their annual event. I told him No, Im sorry. I
really dont. But Stefan didnt let it go at that. He pressed, Leil, didnt you
once work with bands on ships?
How to Let Em Know Whats In It for Them 305
I told him Yes, but I no longer have contact with them. I thought that
was the end of it. But Stefan didnt. He grilled me further and I found myself
getting confused and irritated. Finally I said, Stefan, whos in charge of
getting the band?
He sheepishly said, I am.
Criminy jicketts, Stefan, why didnt you tell me it was your
responsibility? In that case, let me do some research and see if I can find a
good one for you. I was happy to do my friend a favor. But Stefan, by not
telling me how important it was to him, risked not getting help. He also
went down a notch or two in his friends esteem by not revealing WIIFM.
When asking someone for a favor, let them know how much it means to
you. You come across as a straight shooter, and the joy of helping you out is
often reward enough. Dont deny them that pleasure!
Asking or granting favors is a fabric that holds together only when
woven with utmost sensitivity. Let us explore more ways to stitch this
delicate cloth so your relationship doesnt rip.
Technique #80
Bare the Buried WIIFM (and WIIFY)
Whenever you suggest a meeting or ask a favor, divulge the respective
benefits. Reveal whats in it for you and whats in it for the other personeven
if its zip. If any hidden agenda comes up later, you get labeled a sly fox.
How to Make Them Want to Do Favors forYou
One of my clients, Susan Evans, heads up a large real estate firm. Once,
sitting in her office discussing an upcoming project, her seretary buzzed.
Excuse me, Ms. Evans, its your brother-in-law Harry on the phone.
ooja
(Ooja)
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