Kirstin, a top communicator, took Janes hands in hers and gave her a
big smile. She said, Jane, youre obviously excellent at math. Youre right,
just about half of what this party cost would indeed pay for the opening of
such a facility. Lets talk about it during business hours. We then made a
swift departure.
On the way back to my place, she let out a big breath and said, Whew,
Im glad thats over.
Didnt you enjoy the party, Kirstin? I asked.
Well, sure, she said, But you never know whats going to happen. For
instance, she said, that remark Jane made. She went on to explain
management had already had several meetings about opening a child-care
facility for employees. In fact, plans for turning an unused storage area into
a beautiful nursery were already in the works. Na•vely, I asked Kirstin why
she hadnt metioned that to Jane.
It wasnt the right time or place. Kirstin had handled the siuation at the
party the way any big winner wouldno spoken confrontation now (but
probable silent condemnation later).
Jane, unfortunately, had broken the first unspoken safe-haven rule,
Parties Are for Pratter. Did Kirstin chastise Jane? Did she punish her
inappropriate behavior? Not then, of course. Nevetheless, Jane would
probably feel the repercussions a few months down the pike when it came
to promotion time. But by then poor Jane wouldnt even know why she was
passed over.
Will it be because of a one-time overimbibing? Jane might grumble,
Yes. Jane is wrong. Its simply that big players cant take
How to Know What Not to Say at Parties 313
the chance that one of their key people will feel too much holiday spirit
at another party and next time confront an important client.
Lets move to the second safe haven where big cats can escape the claws
of bigger cats and, they hope, the growls of lesser ones.
Technique #83
Parties Are for Pratter
There are three sacred safe havens in the human jungle where even the
toughest tiger knows he must not attack. The first of these is parties.
Parties are for pleasantries and good fellowship, not for confrontations.
Big players, even when standing next to their enemies at the buffet table,
smile and nod. They leave tough talk for tougher settings.
ooja
(Ooja)
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