Once while at a party, I spotted a fellow surrounded by a fan club of
avid listeners. The chap was smiling, gesticulating, and obvously
enthralling his audience. I went over to hearken to this facinating speaker. I
joined his throng of admirers and eavesdropped for a minute or two.
Suddenly, it dawned on me: the fellow was saying the most banal things!
His script was dull, dull, dull. Ah, but he was delivering his prosaic
observations with such passion, and therefore, he held the group
spellbound. It convinced me that its not all what you say, its how you say it.
Whats a Good Opening Line When I Meet People?
I am often asked this question, and I give them the same answer a
woman who once worked in my office always gave me. Dottie often stayed
at her desk to work through lunch. Sometimes, as I was leaving for the
sandwich shop, Id ask her, Hey Dottie, what can I bring you back for lunch?
Dottie, trying to be obliging, would say, Oh anything is fine with me.
No, Dottie! I wanted to scream. Tell me what you want. Ham n cheese
on rye? Bologna on whole wheat, hold the mayo? Peanut butter n jelly with
sliced bananas? Be specific. Anything is a hassle.
Frustrating though it may be, my answer to the opening-line question is
Anything! because almost anything you say really is OKas long as it puts
people at ease and sounds passionate.
How do you put people at ease? By convincing them they are OK and
that the two of you are similar. When you do that, you break down walls of
fear, suspicion, and mistrust.
Why Banal Makes a Bond
Samuel I. Hayakawa was a college president, U.S. senator, and brilliant
linguistic analyst of Japanese origin. He tells us this story that shows the
value of, as he says, unoriginal remarks. 11
In early 1943after the attack on Pearl Harbor at a time when there were
rumors of Japanese spiesHayakawa had to wait seeral hours in a railroad
station in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. He noticed others waiting in the station
were staring at him suspiciously. Because of the war, they were
apprehensive about his presence. He later wrote, One couple with a small
child was staring with spcial uneasiness and whispering to each other.
So what did Hayakawa do? He made unoriginal remarks to set them at
ease. He said to the husband that it was too bad the train should be late on
so cold a night. The man agreed.
ooja
(Ooja)
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