masters of the Be a Word Detective technique.
If you find yourself futilely fanning the embers of a dying conversation
(and if you feel for political reasons or human copassion that the
conversation should continue), heres a foolproof trick to get the fire blazing
again. I call it Parroting after that beautiful tropical bird that captures
everyones heart simply by repeating other peoples words.
Have you ever, puttering around the house, had the TV in the
background tuned to a tennis game? You hear the ball going back and forth
over the netklink-klunk, klink-klunk, klink... this time you dont hear the
klunk. The ball didnt hit the court. What happened? You immediately look
up at the set.
Likewise in conversation, the conversational ball goes back and forth.
First you speak, then your partner speaks, you speak... and so it goes,
back and forth. Each time, through a series of nods and comforting grunts
like um hum, or umm, you let your co versation partner know the ball has
landed in your court. Its your I got it signal. Such is the rhythm of
conversation.
How to Never Need to Wonder, What Do I Say Next? 79
What Do I Say Next?
Back to that frightfully familiar moment when it is your turn to speak
but your mind goes blank. Dont panic. Instead of signaing verbally or
nonverbally that you got it, simply repeator parrotthe last two or three
words your companion said, in a sympathetic, questioning tone. That
throws the conversational ball right back in your partners court.
My friend Phil sometimes picks me up at the airport. Usually I am so
exhausted that I rudely fall asleep in the passenger seat, relegating Phil to
nothing more than a chauffeur.
After one especially exhausting trip some years ago, I flung my bags in
his trunk and flopped onto the front seat. As I was dozing off, he mentioned
hed gone to the theater the night before. Usually I would have just grunted
and wafted into unconsciouness. However, on this particular trip, I had
learned the Paroting technique and was eager to try it. Theater? I parroted
quizzically.
Yes, it was a great show, he replied, fully expecting it to be the last word
on the subject before I fell into my usual sleepy stupor.
Great show? I parroted. Pleasantly surprised by my interest, he said,
Yes, its a new show by Stephen Sondheim called Sweeney Todd.
ooja
(Ooja)
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