PART THREE
How to Talk
Like a VIP
Welcome to the human jungle. When two tigers prowling through the
jungle chance upon one another in a clearing, they look at each other. They
freeze. Instinctively they calculate, If our staring came to hissingcame to
scratchingcame to clawingwho would win? Which of us has the stronger
survival skills?
Tigers in the wilderness differ little from the urban upright animals
inhabiting the corporate jungle (or singles jungle or social jungle). Humans
start the process by looking at each other and talking. In the business world,
while smiling and uttering How do you do? Hello, Howdy, or Hi, they are,
like tigers, instinctively, instantaneously, sizing each other up.
Theyre not calculating the length of each others claws or the sharpness
of their teeth. Theyre judging each other on a weapon far more powerful to
survival as they have defined it. Humans are judging each others
communications skills. Although they may not know the names of the
specific studies first proving it, they sense the truth: 85 percent of ones
success in life is directly due to communications skills. 13
They may not be familiar with the U.S. Census Bureaus recent survey
showing employers choose candidates with good communications skills and
attitude way over education, experience, and training.But they know
communications skills get peple to the top. Thus, by observing each other
carefully during casual conversing, it becomes almost immediately evident
to both which is the bigger cat in the human jungle.
It doesnt take long for people to recognize who is an impotant person.
One clichŽ, one insensitive remark, one overanxious reaction, and you can
be professionally or personally demoted. You can lose a potentially
important friendship or business contact. One stupid move and you can
tumble off the corporate or social ladder.
The techniques in this section will help ensure that you make all the
right moves so this doesnt happen. The following comunications skills give
you a leg up to start your ascent to the top of any ladder you choose.
How to Find Out What They Do (Without Even Asking!)
To size each other up, the first question little cats flat-pawedly ask each
other is, And what do you do? Hmm? Then they crouch there, quivering