passion. Then, when the time is right, casally mention you share their
interest.
Oh, I Must Have Been Boring You
I waited weeks for the opportunity to try it out. Finally the moment
presented itself at a convention. A new contact began telling me about her
recent trip to Washington, D.C. (She had no idea that Washington was
where I grew up.) She told me all about the Capitol, the Washington
Monument, the Kennedy Center, and how she and her husband went
bicycling in Rock Creek Park. (Momentarily I forgot I was keeping my
mouth shut to practice my new technique. I was genuinely enjoying hearing
about these familiar sights from a visitors perspective.)
I asked her where she stayed, where she dined, and if she had a chance
to get into any of the beautiful Maryland or Virginia suurbs. At one point,
obviously pleased by my interest in her trip, she said, You sound like you
know a lot about Washington.
Yes, I replied. Its my hometown, but I havent been back there in ages.
Your hometown! she squealed. My goodness, why didnt you tell me? I
must have been boring you.
Oh, not at all, I replied honestly. I was enjoying hearing about your trip
so much, I was afraid youd stop if I told you. Her
How to Not Sound Anxious (Let Them Discover Your Similarity) 109
big smile and barely audible Oh gosh let me know I had won a new
friend.
When someone starts telling you about an activity he has done, a trip
she has made, a club he belongs to, an interest she hasanything that you
sharebite your tongue. Let the teller relish his or her own monologue. Relax
and enjoy it, too, secretly knowing how much pleasure your conversation
partner will have when you reveal you share the same experience. Then,
when the moment is ripe, casually disclose your similarity. And be sure to
mention how much you enjoyed hearing about his or her shared interest.
Technique #27
Kill the Quick Me, Too!
Whenever you have something in common with someone, the longer
you wait to reveal it, the more moved (and impressed) he or she will be.
You emerge as a confident big cat, not a lonely little stray, hungry for quick
connection with a stranger.
ooja
(Ooja)
#1