P.S.: Dont wait too long to reveal your shared interest or it will seem
like youre being tricky.
HowtoBeaYoFirstie to Gain Their Respect and Affection
SEX! Now that I have your attention.... Two-bit comics have been
using that gag from the days when two bits bought a foursquare meal.
However, big winners know theres a three-letter word more potent then
SEX to get peoples attention. That word is YOU.
Why is you such a powerful word? Because when we were infants, we
thought we were the center of the universe. Nothing mattered but ME,
MYSELF, and I. The rest of the shadowy forms stirring about us (which we
later learned were other people) existed solely for what they could do for
us. Self-centered little tykes that we were, our tiny brains translated every
action, every word, into, How does that affect ME?
Big winners know we havent changed a bit. Adults camouflage their
self-centeredness under a mask of civilization and politeness. Yet the human
brain still immediately, instinctively, and unfailingly translates everything
into terms of How does that affect ME?
For example, suppose, gentlemen, you want to ask a colleague, Jill, if
she would like to join you for dinner. So you say to her, Theres a really
good new Indian restaurant in town. Will you join me there for dinner
tonight?
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How to Be a You-Firstie to Gain Their Respect and Af fection 1 11
Before answering, Jill is thinking to herself, By good does he mean the
food or the atmosphere or both? Her reverie cotinues, Indian cuisine, Im not
sure. He says its good. However, will I like it? While thinking, Jill hesitates.
You probably take her hesitation personally, and the joy of the exchange
diminishes.
Suppose, instead, you had said to her, Jill, you will really love this new
Indian restaurant. Will you join me there this evening for dinner? Phrasing
it that way, youve already subliminally answered Jills questions and shes
more apt to give you a quick yes.
The pleasure-pain principle is a guiding force in life. Pschologists tell us
everyone automatically gravitates toward that which is pleasurable and
pulls away from that which is painful. For many people, thinking is painful.
So big winners (when they wish to control, inspire, be loved by, sell to
people, or get them to go to dinner) do the thinking for them. They translate
ooja
(Ooja)
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