Continuing up the sanity scale, the fewer times you use I, the more sane
you seem to your listeners. If you eavesdrop on big winers talking with
each other, youll notice a lot more you than I in their conversation.
The next technique concerns a way big winners are silently you-
oriented.
How to Make Them Feel You Dont Smile at Just Anybody
Have you ever seen those low-budget, mail-order fashion catlogues that
use the same model throughout? Whether she is engulfed in a wedding
gown or partially clad in a bikini, her face sports the same plastic smile.
Looking at her, you get the feeling if you rapped on her forehead, a tiny
voice would come back saing Nobodys in here.
Whereas models in more sophisticated magazines have matered a
myriad of different expressions: a flirtatious Ive got a secret smile on one
page; a quizzical I think Id like to get to know you but Im not sure smile on
the next; and a mysterious Mona Lisa smile on the third. You feel theres a
brain running the operation somewhere inside that beautiful head.
I once stood in the receiving line of the ship I worked on, along with the
captain, his wife, and several other officers. One passenger with a radiant
smile started shaking hands down our line. When he got to me, he flashed a
shimmering smile, reveaing teeth as even and white as keys on a new piano.
I was tranfixed. It was as though a brilliant light had illuminated the dim
ballroom. I wished him a happy cruise and resolved to find this charming
gentleman later.
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Then he was introduced to the next person. Out of the coner of my eye,
I saw his identical glistening grin. A third person, the same grin. My
interest began to dwindle.
When he gave his fourth indistinguishable smile to the next person, he
started to resemble a Cheshire cat. By the time he was introduced to the
fifth person, his consistent smile felt like a strobe light disturbing the
ambience of the ballroom. Strobe Man went on flashing everybody the
same smile down the line. I had no futher interest in talking with him.
Why did this mans stock shoot high in my ticker one minute and
plummet the next? Because his smile, although charming, reflected no
special reaction to me. Obviously, he gave the same smile to everybody
and, by that, it lost all its specialness. If Strobe Man had given each of us a
slightly different smile, he would have appeared sensitive and insightful.
ooja
(Ooja)
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