112 The Australian Women’s Weekly|MAY 2019
Family matters
TOCONNECTWITHPATONFACEBOOKvisitFACEBOOK.COM/PATMCDERMOTTAU ILLUSTRATION BY MORISA MOREA @THEILLUSTRATIONROOM.COM.AU.O
urkids
complained
aboutthedire
shortageof nans
in ourfamily
whentheyweregrowingup.
Mymotherlived16,000
kilometresawayin blizzardly
coldCanada.Mymother-in-lawlived
onthedistant,butundeniablywarmer,
northcoastofNewSouthWales.
Bothnansassuredusthishadnothing
todowithgettingoutofbabysitting.
Fromtimetotimetheycameforvisits.
Butit wasn’tthesameashavinga nan
closeto handforthosegrimdayswhen
youcan’tliftyourheadfromthepillow.
Youwanthertoarriveat yourdoor
andTAKECHARGE!If shehastrashy
magazinesin onehandanda decent
takeawaycoffeein theotheryoufeel
betterimmediately.Thekidseattheir
cereal.Thebabychangesitsownnappy.
The whinge-o-meter drops to ‘bearable’.Thingslookedup
whenwemoved
toa biggerhouse.
Aswefollowed
theremovalist’svanupthe
driveway,a pleasant-looking
womanwavedhellofromthe
porchof thehousenextdoor.
“Shelooksnice.Let’saskherto
beournan,”saidReagan.whowas
seven.“Notyet,”mutteredtheMOTH
(ManoftheHouse).“Wedon’twant
toscareheroff.”
Four-year-oldFlynnhadother
worries.She’dbeeninvitedtoherfirst
properbirthdayparty– onmovingday!
I hadwrappingpaper,ribbon,giftand
cardbutnostickytapeorscissors.
“Checktheboxes,”saidtheMOTH,
wavingin thedirectionofthe 30 large
boxesstackedonthefrontveranda.
Therewere 140 morestillin thevan.
I searchedfranticallythroughtheones
I could reach, butchers’ paper flyingwildlyin alldirections.Flynnlooked
teary.She’dbetheonlyonewithan
unwrappedpresent.
“Askournewneighbour,”saidthe
MOTHashelumberedpastwitha
television.“Maybewecanborrow
somebeertoo.”
Ourneighbour’snamewasMarie.
Shedidn’thavebeerbutshedidhave
stickytape,scissorsandscones,warm
fromtheoven,withjamandcream.
“WelivenextdoortoMary
Poppins!”thegirlssquealed.Marie
andI becamefastfriendsandremained
sofor 40 years.
Shewasthegrandmayouhavewhen
youhaven’tgota grandma.Shecame
to trashandtreasuredays,kindergarten
graduationsandballetrecitals.The
childrenwanderedin andoutofher
gardenandhouse,bringingher
interestingrocks,bugsstillkickingand
pre-schoolartworkdrippingwithpaint.
Theydiscussedtheimportantissues
ofthedayoverfreshlymadebiscuits.
Courtenay,agedfive,toldMariethat
herlittlebrother(RuffRed,aged
three)onlycamein forthebiscuits.
“Whydoyoucomein?’Marieasked.
“Icomein totalk,”chirped
Courtenay.“Andforthebiscuits!”
InyearstocomeMariewouldtell
thepoliceshefoundourteenagers’
noisypartiesabsolutelydelightful.
“Ofcourse,I’ma littledeaf,officer,
andI sleepat thefrontofthehouse.”
Wejammedourextrabottlesin her
bin.Ourkidshuggedhergoodbye
beforetheyheadedoverseasandraced
in totellhertheiradventureswhen
theycamesafelyhome.Shewasan
honouredguestat our21stbirthdays,
engagementsandweddings.
Notlongbeforeshedied,I askedif
she’deverregrettedopeningherdoor
40 yearsagotoa youngmumin
searchofstickytape.
“Notonce,”shewhispered.“I’m
justsorryI didn’thaveanybeer.”
Wesatin thecomfortable silence of
old friends.AW WMothers and others
Theysayyoucanchooseyourfriends,butforthe
lucky ones, you can also choose your own family.
WITH
PAT
McDERMOTT