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17 MANTRAMAGAZINE.COM

DON’T LEAVE YOUR

CHILDREN WITH YOUR

ABUSER IF YOU HAVE

LEFT THE HOME.

You may lose custody of your children if

you leave them with your husband once

you have left the home. The court may

consider your leaving them behind to be

abandonment or that you may be lying

about the abuse. Call the police if your

husband tries to intimidate you to leave

without your children. Do not leave

without them.

DON’T USE THE SAME

ATTORNEY OR FINANCIAL

ADVISOR AS YOUR ABUSER

TO SAVE MONEY.

Find an independent professional to

represent your interests. Using the

same one as your abuser, who may be

sympathetic to him, may cost you a lot of

money in the long run.

KEEP DETAILED RECORDS OF

VERBAL ABUSE, PICTURES

OF PHYSICAL ABUSE,

HOSPITAL RECORDS AND

EMAILS.

Keep well-documented evidence of abuse

and/or infidelity in a safe place outside the

home. Your husband is likely to destroy any

evidence that he can find once he becomes

aware that you are leaving him. Give a copy

to your attorney and bring these records to

any negotiation, mediation or trial that you

attend.

DON’T CALL YOUR

ATTORNEY UNLESS IT

IS REALLY NECESSARY.

It will cost you money every time that you

call your attorney’s office. Read books on

divorce and do research online for basic

questions you have. If you have a dispute or

problem, make sure it is important enough

to increase your attorney bill. Deal with the

paralegal when possible. Keep in mind that

you will still be charged for his or her time,

albeit at a reduced rate.

ENFORCE A RESTRAINING

ORDER IF IT IS VIOLATED.

Have the restraining order in hand when the

police arrive. Write down the date and time,

and name and badge number of every law

enforcement officer involved. Take pictures

and go to the hospital if your abuser hurt

you. Document everything. Don’t let him

get a free pass, or the next time may be a

lot worse.

Rosemary Lombardy is a financial advisor with over 35 years of experience and a domestic abuse survivor.

She is the founder of Breaking Bonds, a free resource for abused women, and author of Breaking Bonds:

How to Divorce an Abuser and Heal—A Survival Guide.

14 WAYS

to

AVOID

FINANCIAL

and

SELF-CARE

DIVORCE MISTAKES

ESPECIALLY FOR THE ABUSED WOMAN

PREPARE TO LEAVE YOUR

ABUSER AHEAD OF TIME.

Be prepared for your husband to take

punitive action. He is very likely to drain

joint bank accounts and hide financial

assets once he becomes aware that you

plan to divorce him. Read the free brochure,

Breaking Bonds 11 Step Prep Guide, that is

available on the Breaking Bonds website and

take necessary steps listed there before you

file for divorce.

ROSEMARY LOMBARDY, FINANCIAL ADVISOR & FOUNDER OF BREAKING BONDS

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