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bloomwithbec.comIT MAY BE TIME FOR AIT MAY BE TIME FOR A
Friendship InFriendship Invntoryvntory
Are your friends uplifting, encouraging, inspiring you
to be better and do better? No? It just might be time
for you to conduct a friendship inventory. Look around, who are you hanging out with? Are they
who you want to emulate? Do they possess opinions
and beliefs that you want to adopt for yourself? Are
they kind? Are they loyal? Are they trustworthy? Do
they strive to grow, to continue to learn, to stretch
themselves, to work toward achieving their goals,
bettering themselves and their surroundings?These are qualities and values that are important to
me; things that I am striving to work on. So, when I
look around at my friends, family, who I’m choosing
to spend time with, if I don’t see these same qualities
and values in them, I must stop and ask myself, “Why
am I choosing to spend time with them?”Have you ever been in a great mood, then interacted
with somebody who is a “Debbie Downer” (sorry to all
the cheerful Debbies out there!) and all of a sudden
you notice your mood spiraling? Maybe irritation
starts to swoop in. You find yourself jumping on the
negativity train and talking badly about somebody or a
situation that “Debbie” has an issue with. WAIT! What just happened?
You just picked up Debbie’s negative energy and
adopted it as your own. Debbie has just dragged you
down to the depths of whatever despair she’s wallow-
ing in.When I accidentally let this happen, I am immediately
irritated with myself. I catch myself thinking, “This
isn’t who I want to be! This isn’t the mood I want to
be in. This isn’t how I want to show up and present
myself to the world.” Then on the flip side, do you have that “Susie Sun-
shine” friend who makes you happy and puts a smile
on your face every time you see her? She is fun to be
around, puts you in a better mood, and makes you feel
better about yourself when you are in her presence?Yes, that girl! That is who I aspire to be, the girl who
puts a smile on everybody’s face when they see her
coming. What is different with these two scenarios?
Absolutely nothing, the exact thing happened in both.
But this time you picked up Susie’s positive energy
and rose to her level.People’s energy and vibes are contagious.
So, what should you do to protect your energy? Choose wisely who you spend
your tme with!Seek out friendships with people who inspire you, who
have the same set of values and priorities as you.
Another tip, make sure you are not the smartest
person in the room, because if you are, you have
nothing to learn, nowhere to grow.Limit your tme with people
who “suck the life” or
positv energy from you.Reduce, or eliminate, time spent with people who have
no desire to grow, to learn, to improve. They do not
bring out the best in you. They are not your tribe. What if you are related to those people? Ouch, now this
can be tricky. You probably aren’t going to
eliminate them from your life. Although there are
some people who are so toxic, this might be necessary.
In most instances, you can simply limit the time spent
with them. You choose when you see, or interact with,
them. You choose how much of your time and energy
to give to them. Here’s the key: you get to choose!
Don’t be afraid to set boundaries. Boundaries are not
designed to push people away, but rather to protect
your energy. Next, mov on and work to
find your tribe—your peeps.The people who inspire, uplift, and encourage you,
those you look up to and learn from. Seek out as much
time as possible with these people. They will elevate
you and help to level up your life. They will nourish
your soul.So, friend, go ahead and take a friendship inventory
today. Choose wisely. Want to be better? Hang out with
better!—Jim Rohn
Bec Martn, Life Coach
Bec Martin is a life coach empowering mid-life women to rediscover their passion, purpose, and happiness.32 MANTRAMAGAZINE.COM