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HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED GASLIGHTING?
Here Are 19 Ways to Recognize the Signs
hether it be a significant other, parent or an authority figure, gaslighting can occur in any type of relationship. Gaslighting is a sly form of
emotional abuse: a manipulative tactic meant to make you question your own truth and reality, to increase the power and control of the
abuser. Has anyone ever hurt you, and then made you question yourself? Made you think you were in the wrong when you were actually the
one wronged? Here are a few ways to tell if you’ve experienced gaslighting.HAS ANYONE EVER:
- Praised you to make you think they’re loving
and supportive, but then taken it all away in
an instant and told you it was your fault,
that you don’t deserve it?
Yes / No
- Accused you of the very behavior they
exhibit? For example, if the gaslighter is a
liar, then they’d accuse you of lying.
Yes / No
- Discredited you to mutual friends and
family, or publicly? Have they told other
people you were crazy, irrational or
unstable, so that if you sought outside help
or advice, you wouldn’t be supported or
believed?
Yes / No
- Told you to “stop being so sensitive” when
confronted about their actions?
Yes / No
- Trivialized how you felt, or minimized
what happened, making you feel like you
imagined it?
Yes / No
- Twisted the narrative or reframed it to their
favor, omitting incriminating details and
martyring themselves?
Yes / No
- Created a state of dependency to make you
think you could not live without them?
Yes / No
- Said “I don’t know what you’re talking
about” when confronted?
Yes / No
- Used a mask of confidence and self-
assurance to make you doubt your own
version of what happened?
Yes / No
SYMPTOMS OF BEING
GASLIT. DO YOU:- Apologize all the time when you’re around
them, simply for existing?
Yes / No
- Feel like there’s something wrong with you,
like you’re “losing it” and don’t know why?
Yes / No
- Feel like you’re overreacting or are “too
sensitive” or reading into things?
Yes / No
- Have difficulty trusting your own judgment,
second-guessing yourself at every turn?
Yes / No
- Feel afraid of “speaking up” about how you
feel, for fear that you won’t be believed... so
you stay silent?
Yes / No
- Have a pit in your stomach that never goes
away, and feels heavier when you’re around
certain people?
Yes / No
- Feel like you’re not as happy as you were in
the past, and are able to pinpoint the change
around the time you got close to a certain
person?
Yes / No
- Feel like nothing you ever do is “good
enough” for that person?
Yes / No
- Have friends or family who notice you’ve
been isolated since getting close to your
gaslighter?
Yes / No
- Recognize that something is not quite right
in the relationship, but can’t put your finger
on it?
Yes / No
HEALING & RESOLUTION
Here are some ways to
support yourself if you
notice this happening:Identify and confirm for yourself
who is gaslighting you. Write down
examples, so it doesn’t build up inside
of you and feel imaginary. Make the
intangible tangible. Give credit to
yourself and your experiences. You
have the power and ability to validate
yourself.Pay attention to any signs of
manipulation, any confusion or
isolation you feel as the result of a
specific person, and seek distance.Figure out if it makes sense for that
relationship to continue, by consulting
mental health professionals, family
and friends whom you trust.Seek professional help, keep a safe
distance if necessary and trust
yourself.If any of this has rung true, please
seek out a trusted and objective
second opinion right away—a
counselor, colleague, friend: ideally
someone who does not know the
person gaslighting you. Get healthy
distance and space from this
individual until you can take the
necessary actions to ensure your
emotional, mental and physical
well-being.36 MANTRAMAGAZINE.COM