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The Slipperiness

of Forgiveness

n many yoga philosophies and religions there is an assumption

that you must forgive the people who have caused you pain.

This actually isn’t a very effective place to begin healing your

wounds. Instead, it’s really important to start out by blaming (take

a breath, re-read that sentence). Giving back the responsibility of

wrongdoing to the abuser is a powerful first step of healing.

The next step is your responsibility. Connect to the people and

resources you need to walk your healing path. We frequently go

back to the people that hurt us, attempting to get them to heal our

wounds. Did you notice this doesn’t work?! They are like a toxic

pond that we keep going to slake our thirst and instead, we get

poisoned over and over. Learn from this. These people do not have

what you need. Quest for and connect to people who value you,

who are sane, and have healing skills, e.g., therapists, massage

therapists, acupuncturists.

Ana Tiger Forrest

Creatrix of Forrest Yoga

Author of Fierce Medicine

forrestyoga.com

The Slipperiness

of Forgiveness

I

Where forgiveness

is effective

Forgive ourselves for the actions that we’ve

taken that were based on the abuse, or

based on the terrible teaching that has us

laboring beneath our guilt and shame. Can we

recognize and begin to forgive that we have

made poor choices because of how we were

twisted? Can we give back the lousy teachings

that we were given by our family or abusers?

Here’s an example scenario: Perhaps it wasn’t

sexual abuse—let’s go to emotional abuse,

when an authority figure was trying to form

you into something that didn’t fit your Spirit

at all. Recognize how that damaged you.

In an attempt to be spiritual or “a good

person,” we don’t acknowledge or we

belittle what happened. Basically, we’re

lying to ourselves. Our lies disconnect and

disempower us. If we don’t get to where the

wound is, we can’t heal it.

Next step, get to where the wound is! Be

honest and feel the pain—physical, emotional

and mental. Feeling the truth of the depth of

your wound is a primary step for healing.

Emotional scar tissue causes us to behave

aberrantly. Massage that tissue so it starts to

unkink. How? Follow the steps below:

• Close your eyes and breathe deeply.


• Focus on the issue that you have told
  yourself needs to be forgiven.


• Locate one of the areas where you hold this
  pain/blame/shame in your body and begin
  to wash your deep breath into that area.


• As you connect to your feelings, notice and
  write down anything that comes up.
  Continue permeating your breath through
  the deeper layers of physical and emotional
  feelings. Courageously move the emotional
  energy, even when that includes quivering,
  shaking, crying, raging. Feel for how the
  energy crests like a wave, crashes and then
  ebbs away.

You can do this exercise while sitting or

doing poses. I encourage you to do Forrest

Yoga while you are working with your issue. I

designed Forrest Yoga to help heal these deep

emotional and soul wounds. I invite you to

strip away what you have been taught about

forgiveness. Dance with learning from your

past mistakes and forgiving yourself. Aho.