2019-06-01+Woman+and+Home

✢ The Lighthouse Keeper’s Daughter by Hazel Gaynor (HarperFiction)✢ Have You Seen Her? by Lisa Hall (HQ)

manyyears,butwantedtowaituntil

myownchildrenweretherightage

toappreciatethem.It’sbeena very

differentexperiencetothememoirsand

manualsI’vedonein thepast,andin

manywaysit wasa collaborativeeffort

withmychildren.WecreatedMrDog

• hisname,appearanceandthe name of
  theothercharactersin the
  books.Almosteverything
  thathappensin the
  10-bookseriesis basedon
  realexperiencesI’vehad,
  likethetimemydogfound
  a missingtortoisein our
  gardenthathadbeen
  carriedtherebya fox.Or
  thestoryofthetarantula
  thatstowedawayin my
  rucksack,hitch-hikedback
  fromSouthAmerica,andescapedinto
  myhouse.I havesomanystoriesthat
  I haveaccumulatedovertheyears.It was
  amazingtowatchLudoandIona’slittle
  faceswhiletheyreadthefirstmanuscript.
  I wasmorenervousabouttheircritique
  thananyotherreviewer,butfortunately
  theygavemea nineoutof 10. I am still
  striving for perfection.

Datenightis usuallydatewalk.My

wifeMarinaandI trytosetasidean

hour or two on a rambling walk once

a week.Justusandthedogs.Nochildren.

It’sourchancetotalkuninterrupted

andtobetogether,and we prefer this

to a swanky dinner.

I thinkwecanlearna greatdealfrom

animals.Thereis anuncomplicated

nature to theirlives– it’sblackand

white.Ourlivesareso

fantasticallycomplicated

bycomparison.Ofcourse,

wehaveevolvedtobea

compassionatespecies,

althoughthewaywe

treatsomeanimals,

I wonderhowcaring

humansreallyare.Dogs

havetaughtmethe

importanceofforgiveness,

loyaltyandunfailinglove.

I love them for their compassion.

I don’thavemuchpatience.So,while

I ama quickwriter,I havea love/hate

relationshipwiththeprocess.I often

sitstaringat a screenforweeksbefore

anythingcomesout.It’slikethewords

needtobrew.I wrotemylastbook,Up,

in threedays– 70,000wordscame

pouringout.I couldn’tstopwriting.When

I stoppedthecomputerwaspractically

steaming!I thinkthehasteworksforme

• it creates a visceral, honest account.

“Ihavea

love/hate

relationship

withwriting

my books”

Asa child,I letfailuredefineme.It

becameanassumptionthatI wouldfail.

AndI did.I havespenttherestofmy

lifetryingtorebuildthatshattered

confidence.Adventurehasprovidedme

withthearmourtotakeontheworld.As

WinstonChurchilloncesaid,“Successis

stumblingfromfailuretofailurewithout

lackofenthusiasm.”Healsosaidthat

if youhaven’tfailed,thenyou haven’t

been trying hard enough.

RealityTVnolongerexists.It’sbeen

almost 20 yearssinceI appearedon

Castaway, andit wassomuchmore

innocentandsimplebackthen.We

wereallowedtobehonestandreal.

Nowadays,thoseshowshavebecome

unrealityTV.Mostofthemareheavily

producedandscripted.TVproducers

nolongerhavethenervenorpatience

to let things happen organically.

I findthewholeabstinencethinga

littleboring.Stayingtrimis allabout

moderation.I drink,I eattoomany

crisps,I likechips– I amquitelazy,

butif youconsumein moderationand

keepfit,thenthereis noreasonyou

can’tenjoylife.If I wanta glassofwine

ora chocolatebar,thenI willhavethem.

I trytodoanhourofphysicalexercise

everyday.Somedaysthatmightbe

a dogwalk,othersit mightbea runor

a gymworkout.Thereis alwaystime.

SometimesI getuplongbeforethe

childrensothatI amdone by the

time they wake up.

Lifeis fullofsomanyopportunities.

Therewillalwaysbechallengesandthere

arelotsof thingsI’dliketo do– that’swhat

excitesmeaboutlife.I’dliketoswimthe

Channel,I’dliketopaddletheAmazon.

I’dliketowalktheGreatWallofChina,

cycleacrossAmerica,paddleboard

acrosstheBeringSea,climbK2,run

thejunglemarathon,andwalkfrom

Land’sEndtoJohno’ Groats– and

that’s just off the top of my head!w&h

BenwithwifeMarina,children

Ludo and Iona, and pet dog Storm

Ben’sfirstchildren’s

book,MrDogandthe

RabbitHabit(HarperCollins)

is outnow.Thesecond

book,MrDogandthe

Seal Deal, is out on 30 May phoTogRAphS

HANNAH McKAy, PA ARCHIVE/PA IMAGES