2019-06-01+Woman+and+Home

HowtobeHuman:TheManual

byRubyWax(£8.99,

PenguinLife)is out

nowinpaperback.

HowtobeHuman:

TheShowtours

theUKandIreland

until 30 November;

rubywax.net

I

lovethispictureofmewithmyfirst

child,Max,who’snow30.I was

elatedatbeinga mumandI wish

I wasbacktherenow.Butinreality

motherhoodwasa bigshocktome;

I knewnothingaboutbabies.I didn’t

readanymanualsonhowtobreastfeed

orcareforinfants.Infact,afterMax

wasbornI wassharinga roomwith

anotherwomaninthehospital,and

I constantlyaskedherquestionsabout

whatI shouldbedoing.Thenextday

I waswheeledawaytomyownroom

andI foundoutshewantedmeout

oftheretogetsomepeace!

Anothertime,whenI wasat home

andMaxwasn’tmoving,I wasconvinced

somethingwaswrongwithhim.I called

anambulanceandwewenttothe

hospital,onlytobetoldhewasin

a deepsleep!I washopelesswith

changing nappies and remembering

togetin enoughbabyfoodforhim.

Thankfully,I hadfriendstohelpmeand

myhusbandEdwasbrilliant.Hedidall

thebedtimestories.

Thisphotoremindsme

thatkidsarea gift,and

I creditthemwithcalming

medownandstoppingme

frombeingtooselfish.In this

photoMaxis wearinganall-in-one.

I boughtallmychildren’sclothesat

reallycheapstores,in syntheticfabrics,

andEmmaFreudoncesaidtome,

“Ruby,yourkidsareflammable!”

I wasanonlychildandI don’tthink

that’shealthy.That’swhyI hadthree

kidsin quicksuccession– at leastthey

cancomparenotes!Mymumlovedme

whenI waslittle,whenI wascute.It was

duringtheteenageyears,whenI started

talkingback,thatthewarwithmy

parents started. Luckily, as a comedian,

I’vebeenabletosharestoriesabout

mymumwithanaudienceandbefunny

(sopeopledon’tthinkyou’rewhining).

BeforeandafterhavingMaxI was

hostingmyTVshowDon’tMissWax.

I workedsolatein pregnancyI could

barelyseemyguestsovermy

mountainousbump!AndI wentback

toworkjusta fewmonthsaftergiving

birth.I hada drivetoachievebutit

brokemyhearttoleaveMaxandlater

Maddy,now28,andMarina,25.

Whentheywereyoung,mychildren

werealwayssurroundedbycomedians

andactors.AlanRickmanwastheir

godfatherandheadvisedmydaughters

togointocomedy.Theynowhave

anactcalledSiblings.They’re funnier

thanI am,forsure.

It’sdifficultbeinga workingmum,but

nowthepay-off isthatI’m

a goodrolemodelformy

daughters.I’mgoodfriends

withmykidsandtheylove

me– theyknowhowmuch

funI am,althoughthey’re

allembarrassedbymetoo.Theydo

somemeanimitationsofme– butthen

again, I give them the material! w&h

“Mykids have

stoppedme

being too selfish”

Motherhood

was not my

speciality!

Thisphoto

remindsRuby

thatchildren

are a gift

Ruby Wax on being a workingmum,synthetic

onesies and passing on the comedy geneÉ

my life in a picture

AS Told

To

CHRIS MoRLEy

58 woman&home IT’S ALL ABouT you!