From Fleeting to liFelong: why not
all Friendships stay the course
“Friendships develop at different times in our lives,” says Carole Ann
Rice (realcoachingco.com). “You might have formed a bond at work or
at the school gates, but you might simply grow in a different direction
over time.” While it can feel sad when a friendship fades, Carole Ann
says, “Not all of your relationships are going to hold up for life. And
the ones that do are very special. They’re the ones where you are
truly compatible, where you can absolutely be yourself.”And the ones to step away from...
“Friendships that
hold up for life are
very special. You are
truly compatible
and can absolutely
be yourself”
✗
the man-eater
You can’t go out to dinner
without her making a play for
the waiter. When the gang gets
together she hones in like a hornet
on the man in the group. You veer
between feeling sorry for her (why
does she crave male attention so
badly?) and deciding that, actually,
you’d rather hang out with friends
who love women as much as – if
not more than – they love men.✗
the crItIc
“Oh, you’ve gone for a different
hairstyle,” she says, giving you an
alarmed stare. Or, “I suppose, if
that’s the way you like to be with
your kids, then that’s perfectly fine!”
Meaning: “But I don’t think it’s fine,
as I sit here observing you from the
moral high ground.” A critical “friend”
is rarely direct with her comments;
we’re talking sly put-downs and
confidence-sapping asides. For
the sake of your sanity, step away.✗
the user
She’s the kind of friend you
make excuses for: “Oh, she’s only
asked me to look after her children/
dog/pick up a birthday present for
her mother-in-law because she’s
a bit all over the place.” But she’s
forever asking favours, borrowing
your stuff and making endless
demands on your energy and time.
Do you really want to be treated as
a free and ever-available resource?✗
the draIn
An evening with this friend is
the opposite of a bundle of laughs.
She’s not out for fun or to catch up,
but to offload her problems and
grind you into the ground with her
moaning. And guess what? She
hasn’t once asked, “So, how are you?”✗
the embarrassIng
one
You find yourself adopting the
brace position when you’re about
to meet up. She starts off fine, but
fuelled by too much booze, she’s
bellowing inappropriate remarks
and saying, “I love you!” while
trying to hug you repeatedly.
Your tolerance is about to run
out. Shame the Prosecco didn’t.✗
the jealous one
She never admits that she
wants what you have. Instead, she
drip-feeds remarks designed to
undermine all you’ve achieved. She
leaves you feeling upset without
quite knowing why. True friends are
your cheerleaders – she doesn’t
deserve a place in your heart.✗
the bad Influence
This wild card wants a partner in
crime. She has a knack for creating
drama wherever she goes. When
she says, “Don’t be boring!” what
she means is, “I want you to behave
like me to validate my choices.”
Reserve the right to say no.life choices
62 woman&home IT’S All ABOuT YOu!