Happiful_May_2019

May 2019 • happiful • 15

the ‘manager of the chores’. Trust me,
I’ve tried it. And, although striking up
a conversation about housework or
chores can often be the catalyst for an
argument, talking to your partner really
is the only way to appease emotional
labour for good.

HOW DO YOU ADDRESS
EMOTIONAL LABOUR WITH
YOUR PARTNER?
The key is to do this sensitively and
respectfully. If a perceived lack of
support is taken too personally, and
is not clearly communicated, it runs
the risk of damaging the relationship

• especially if your partner is unaware
  that there is a problem.

When opening up the conversation,

avoid using blaming, accusatory

language if you can – I know the

housework can be a bone of contention,

but you’ll do yourself a favour by

remaining calm. Instead, focus on

communicating your thoughts and

feelings.

Laurele says: “Own what you say with

‘I feel’ rather than ‘you are’ statements,”

Laurele says. “You’re less likely to make

someone defensive, and more likely to

hear the other person’s point of view.”

To help illustrate your points, try to

identify and discuss the current division

of emotional labour in your relationship.

By collaborating and trying to make

compromises, you can decide who does

The same thing that causes

emotional labour can also help you

to overcome it: communication

what – ensuring that you’re both happy

with your collective responsibilities.

Laurele explains: “Shared responsibility

for everything may be the way forward.

Or you may agree that one takes

responsibility for the housework, and

the other the finances. Either way, play

to your strengths and check in with one

another regularly.”

We all know communication is key

in any relationship, but life can get in

the way sometimes. However you do it,

the key is to talk through the changes

that will help both of you. So pick an

appropriate time, and share how you’re

really feeling with your loved one – your

relationship and emotional wellbeing

will be better for it.