Comedian and writer Ruby Wax spent years in the grip of
depression – but mindfulness changed everything. Now she
is a champion for mental health, and here reveals the key life
moments that shaped her way of thinking...Writing | Gemma CalvertI
do feel like I’ve been given
a second chance, but it
doesn’t mean it’s easy.” Ruby
Wax is discussing the role
mindfulness has played in
her life, notably since graduating
from Oxford University six years ago
with a masters in mindfulness-based
cognitive therapy, after enduring years
of depression.
For Illinois-born Ruby,
understanding the inner workings
of her mind is both a passion
and a prerequisite to life. She first
experienced depression at 13 and
now, some 50 years later, practises
daily mindfulness to keep it, and other
issues including anxiety and self-
loathing, at arm’s length.
“I can now feel a depression coming,
so can do something about it. My last
episode was years ago,” she explains.
“You don’t need a lot of time, a minute
is enough. You’re just training your
brain to become resilient, so when
thoughts come they don’t hammer you.”
Ruby’s memories of childhood are
bleak. She was the only-child of her
Jewish immigrant parents who fled
Nazi-dominated Austria in 1938,You can re-route
at any age
“ and never dealt with the pain of their
ordeal. Her father was violent, and her
mother was troubled by OCD, and
plagued by bouts of fury.
At 15, Ruby found an escape from
her pain – through humour. In 1977
she joined the Royal Scottish Academy
of Music and Drama in Glasgow,
and then won a place at the Royal
Shakespeare Company, before carving
a career as a comedian, and quickly
becoming a staple on prime time
British telly in the 80s and 90s.
But by 1994, married to BBC
producer Ed Bye, and shortly after
the birth of their third child, Ruby fell
apart. She checked into The Priory
with depression, where she returned
a decade ago, before discovering
mindfulness.
“Whatever you pay attention to
becomes who you are,” she insists.
“Mindfulness changes the way you
parent, how you are in a relationship, it
changes everything. You can re-route
at any age, and I think I’m a walking
representative of that.”
Here, Ruby shares with us eight
key moments in life that changed
everything for her...STARTING MY RESEARCH INTO
MINDFULNESS
I had a serious depression 12 years ago
and thought: ‘I can’t do this anymore.’
I didn’t think there was a cure, but I
thought that there must be something
else besides medication, so I started
Googling. I realised that mindfulness
and cognitive therapy had the best
scientific results. So I studied a masters
in it for two years.
You need to know how your brain
works to be in control. It’s like a car;
if you break down, you don’t have to
scream for help, you kind of know
what’s going on. I don’t control my
depression, but thanks to mindfulness
I can see an episode coming, so I
have choices. I can see my patterns of
thinking, but don’t always play into
them; I’ll hold back before I judge
somebody and then I’ll laugh, without
them knowing, that they proved
me wrong. Rather than assuming
everything I think is correct, I know
my thoughts are just recordings. It’s
not easy to commit to it, but I want to
know what’s going on in my mind. I
put in the work. It’s not a magic wand.
It takes discipline. Continues >>>