EXPERIENCING PURE
HUMAN KINDNESS
I’ve always had a very pessimistic
view of human nature – every time
something good happens in my life,
I seem to get kicked in the behind
pretty quickly.
In February 2017, I was travelling
home from Victoria Station in a taxi,
writing my latest book. I ended up
leaving my computer on the back
seat and somebody emailed the next
day to say they had it. The lady had
bought it off a street market, and
when we met, she not only insisted
on giving me back the computer
for no charge, but she gave me two
paintings from the art gallery where
she worked. It was an epiphany,
having an experience when there was
no price. It was just human kindness.
Compassion is the glue that makes
our lives worth living.
I’m going to work in a refugee
camp in Greece for three weeks
soon, which isn’t something I usually
do, but I want to feel compassion.
You have to invest in doing good
things for yourself and others to feel
the positives.DISCOVERING DEPRESSION
WAS IN MY ROOTS
While filming Who Do You Think
You Are?, I travelled to the Czech
Republic and discovered that two
of my distant relatives had been
sectioned in the same asylum. It
confirmed that mental health issues
were in my family tree. Whenshe was alive, my mother never
mentioned her past, or any relatives,
so it made me feel better knowing
that I came from a long line of
depression.
During the making of the show, I
also learned the reason for my dad’s
anger. He and my mother had fled
the Nazis from Austria in 1938 and
moved to Illinois. They were literallychased out of the country, which also
explains why my mother was also
regularly furious and obsessive about
cleaning.
[For years] I took on those
problems, but after discovering
their past I bought my mother a
gravestone, and it helped me to close
a chapter on my childhood. I felt
good for doing that.Compassion
is the glue
that makes
our lives
worth living
‘How to Be Human: The Manual’ by Ruby
Wax is out now in paperback (Penguin Life,
£8.99). ‘How to Be Human: The Show’ is on
tour at theatres around the UK and Ireland
from 24 April (rubywax.net)Photography | Steve Ullathorne