98 CultureShock! Egypt
Although men may have up to four wives in Islam, most
people seem to feel it is wrong for a man to have more than
one wife. Most men will also tell you, in a sort of laughing
reference, that it is neither financially nor emotionally
feasible to have more than one wife. I have yet to find a
woman who likes polygamy. All acknowledge it is legal
and acceptable under Islam, but most abhor the idea of
being the second wife, much less their husbands taking
another wife.Divorce
An Egyptian man can get a divorce rather easily. Under
traditional practices, all he has to do is to state publicly three
times in succession, ‘I divorce thee, I divorce thee, I divorce
thee’, or words to that effect. If he makes the statement only
once or twice, reconciliation remains a possibility. Family
members often serve as intermediaries to try to arrange a
reconciliation. It is still quite easy for a man to divorce his wife,
though the traditional statements must now be accompanied
by a legal document filed with the authorities.
For a woman, getting a divorce is much more problematic.
A woman technically can get a divorce for ‘just reason’, such
as impotence or mistreatment. Mistreatment can range
from not getting enough food in the husband’s household to
beatings and so on. Current estimates hold that as many as
one in three women have been beaten at least once during
their marriage. Only about half of those ever beaten have
ever sought help.
The social stigma of divorce is not terribly serious among
most Egyptians and the woman’s family can usually find her
another husband. But some blame does follow the woman if
the husband gets the divorce. Sometimes people think she
‘could have done something to keep the husband she lost’.
Also, since she is no longer a virgin, her value is lower.
Economic factors constitute a more serious reason
for families encouraging a woman not to divorce. Family
pressures, especially from brothers or fathers, can be
substantial. When a woman gets divorced, she then goes
back to being the responsibility of her natal family, which