116 CultureShock! Egypt
somewhere or to have something. Believe it or not, you may
be expected to help the person do, go or have whatever it is
(assuming it is a reasonable request). At the same time, the
slightest hint from you will often provoke a reciprocal action
from your Egyptian friends.Going the Extra Mile
Before I was well acquainted with how Egyptian friendships
progressed, I was astounded to fi nd that the responsibilities of
friendship involved much more giving of one’s time and energy than I
was used to. One day, I simply mentioned to a friend that I ‘wanted to
go’ shopping later that day. I was just making conversation. Certainly, I
did not expect my friend to take the comment seriously or as a request
for a favour. Next thing I knew, my friend and her children changed
all their daily plans to go with me so I wouldn’t have to be alone. She
assumed that because I said I wanted to go shopping (rather than I was
planning to go shopping), that I was expecting her—as my friend—to
accompany me or even to provide a driver and car. Of course
I wanted her to accompany me, but I would never have asked her to
change important plans just to go shopping with me. How delightful
for me that she went to that much trouble! I had my friend and her
children with me to help fi nd all the good bargains!Visiting
Visiting friends and relatives is the mainstay of Egyptian social
life. Rather than ‘going’ somewhere or ‘doing’ something
together, as is a common Western custom, Egyptians relish
getting together for the sake of being together. Nothing seems
to give Egyptians greater pleasure than the company of
others. Foreign cultures, on the other hand, often tend toward
action. With this action-oriented basis for socialisation,
people often take little time for activities that do not seem
to produce some tangible result. Therefore, many foreigners
have difficulty with the idea of just ‘being’ with other people.
If you are accustomed to getting together with friends to ‘do’
something, ‘passing by’ someone’s house for the afternoon
or evening to do absolutely nothing but sit around and talk
can be unsettling. Furthermore, visits frequently are expected
to take several hours. Rarely do visits seem to last just
15–20 minutes (what might be considered to be a polite visit
by some Western standards).