122 CultureShock! Egypt
generous. Again, refuse. Usually that will end the offering.
A sort of rule of thumb is if something is offered to you the
third time, you may assume the person really wants you to
have it and is not offering out of social obligation. In this
case, you may accept if it seems appropriate to you. You
must, naturally, use your own judgement of good taste and
propriety depending on the article offered. Just remember
that admiration of something will often place your Egyptian
friends in the position of having to offer it to you to maintain
their social reputation.A Lesson Learned
One of my most embarrassing moments occurred as a result of
window shopping with an American friend along with a friend who
was Egyptian. It was close to when I was getting ready to leave Egypt
and I did not think about the fact that my Egyptian friend might want
to get me a little gift as a going-away present. So as I blithely wandered
through some gold shops in Khan el-Khalili (trying, I thought, to help
my Egyptian friend fi nd a token gift to send to someone else), we
passed a shop window which had what I considered to be one of the
most beautiful sapphire rings I had ever seen in my life. So, naturally,
I pointed it out to my American friend with a comment like, ‘Wish
I hadn’t bought so much, because I would give it all up to have that
ring.’ In my mind, it was so expensive as to be outside the realm of
anything for serious contemplation, just one of those nonchalant
comments we Americans often make when window shopping. I did
not know my American friend was in a small conspiracy with my
Egyptian friend. Apparently, all afternoon they had been just waiting
for me to comment on some piece of jewellery that I really liked.
Had I guessed they might have been looking for something for me,
I would certainly have kept my mouth shut about the ring in front
of them or would have pointed out something relatively inexpensive
as being the absolute thing I most wanted in life. You can guess
what happened next: my Egyptian friend presented the ring to me
over dinner as a gift. The ring is, without a doubt, one of my most
treasured possessions (it ranks right up there with the watch my
grandmother gave me when I graduated from high school). I wear it
with pride and am eternally grateful for his generosity. It is still the
most beautiful ring I have ever seen, but you can just imagine my
embarrassment when I realised what I had done. I am now much
more cautious when I shop with Egyptian friends and am careful of
what I admire in shop windows.