150 CultureShock! Egypt
the respect of your Egyptian friends. You can also count on
any mistreatment on your part getting around through the
local grapevine.
What if you are more inclined to treat your servant as a
member of the family? Or, what if you have sincere notions
about equality and are afraid any act that treats the servant
differently implies unfairness? Well, there is definitely a
middle ground that is appropriate in Egyptian society. The
basic rule of thumb goes something like this: private and
public behaviours are different.
You may well develop a warm and personal relationship
with your employee, often sharing jokes and laughter
together. In fact, it is quite appropriate for you to develop
a feeling of responsibility, much like a family member
would do. This includes being very generous with your
employee, especially with things like surplus food, and
clothing or other items you no longer need. Because they
feel you are like family too, you may find them asking you
for help with medical expenses or in a family emergency.
This is normal and expected behaviour—it does not mean
they are trying to take advantage of you. As their employer,
you are in some ways responsible for them just as if they
were members of your family. If you feel you cannot afford
to give them all that they need or feel it is too much, at
least give them something to show your concern for their
well-being. Not to do so would be an insult. If you are
concerned that the amount requested is too much, ask
your friends to see what would be appropriate. Then, if
need be, you can arrange to take some of it out of your
servant’s wages in the future. One of the things I do is to
always save my empty plastic water bottles to give to my
maid because she recycles them.
This is the private side of your relationship with your
servant. It is reserved for when outsiders are not around.
When outsiders are around, especially other Egyptians,
behaviour changes. In these situations, servants should
be accorded the opportunity to show others how well they
do their job and provide a service to you. For you to do
any work in front of others that should be their job will