78 CultureShock! Egypt
if they were not standing there. Alternatively, if an Egyptian
man wants to get an answer from a woman, he may well
address the question not to her, but to the man she is with.
Western women tend to find this action demeaning—an
action of deferring to male superiority. Depending on the
circumstances, this kind of behaviour may represent a sign
of respect.
Finally, an extremely important form of honour relates to
a woman’s chastity or reputation for chastity. ‘Appearance’
applies not only to the way a person looks, but also to ‘how
things seem’. How things ‘seem to be’ can be much more
important than actual facts. If a situation does not seem
or appear to be appropriate, then it may be judged to be
inappropriate. Any behaviour or suggestion of behaviour
that compromises or ‘seems’ to compromise a woman’s
reputation for chastity is extremely serious. Gossip also
comes into play here. The way I have had it explained
to me is as follows. If, for example, a woman stopped to
talk with a man, it is likely that someone might see her.
That someone would then tell someone else. By the third
or fourth translation, the woman was at the man’s home
alone with him. By the time all the gossip was through the