204 CultureShock! Chile
Tú versus Usted
One aspect of the Spanish language that makes it different
from the English language is the division of pronouns into
formal or informal. Every person you speak with must be
classified into one or the other category. This is a tough
call for many foreigners in Chile, especially native English
speakers, who are not used to making the distinction. Many
people have the mistaken notion that it would be better to
use the informal term with everyone, but this is not the
true nature of the Spanish language. In general, native
speakers probably use Usted much more than tú once they
leave their houses. Unless you marry a Chilean or have
many intimate friends, the formal form will be much more
important to you.
Usted is actually an abbreviation of Vuestra Merced,
roughly translated as Your Grace, a title used in Spain
hundreds of years ago. It is important to remember that
Usted is the norm and tú is a privilege only granted to
certain individuals. Usted is used with guests, older people,
anyone in a position of authority, or anyone you do not
know. Usted is always used in business relationships, even
if the social status is the same.
You may have known your secretary, boss or colleague
for many years, but the relationship will almost always be
on an Usted basis. Even among family members Usted can
be heard, especially with distant relatives, when there is a
large age gap between family members, or with relatives
by marriage. Parents often use the Usted form with their
children as a term of endearment.
With people of your own age and status whom you meet
in a social setting you will probably start off using tú. It is
recommended that you follow the lead of Chileans until
you are able to judge for yourself. The change from Usted
to tú can happen quickly, and marks the recognition of a
certain intimacy in the relationship.
In some cases one person may use Usted, while the other
uses tú. This may happen when adults speak to children
(or between any two people with a large age gap—be
careful not to offend an older person by using tú with