drinking and I was overweight and my life was out of control. I was not
taking good care of myself. I was writing. I’d written some textbooks. But
the kind of writing I really wanted to do, I just couldn’t get it. It just
wouldn’t come.
You were too angry.Yeah, I was filled with rage. I would wake up in dreams, on almost a
nightly occurrence, and I’d just be screaming and I’d be fighting him and
I’d be sweating.
I went to his grave—it was the 30th of August, 1974—and I really went
there to do something on his grave. I was there for two hours or so, and I
went back to the car to drive back to New Orleans and then back to New
York—I was teaching; I was a professor at St. John’s University in New
York—but something called me back.
How far down the road did you get before you were called back?I only got to the car. I was in the car and something said, “Go back to the
grave.” And I went back to his grave, and I was sobbing and I forgave my
father. I said, “From this moment on, I send you love.” And I did a film
about him, and I called him my greatest teacher.
Everything in my life changed and turned around. My writing took off. I
wrote a book that became an international bestseller. It all came when I
released that rage and anger ...
What do you think happened? Because he was always there with you. He was
always loving you. He was always proud of you. He was always appreciating
you.
Really?Because he’s Source Energy. So that’s how he was feeling—Even while he was here on this planet?Oh, no. He was all pinched off then.Yeah, he was in jail a big part of that.