You don’t mean to. And you don’t have to, and when you do, you do not feel
good. Whenever you deviate from the vibration of who-you-are, you feel the
pinching off. And you feel relief when you no longer pinch it off. If you want to
practice no longer pinching off your Connection to Source, take some subject
that you feel resistance about and just become more general about it—and notice
what happens.
What do you mean?For example. Let’s go back in time before you had that wonderful realignment
with who-you-really-are at the grave site, to the time when you were still railing
about the inappropriateness of your ne’er-do-well father. It’s eating you up. You
feel the discord in a very strong way. You don’t want to feel the discord, but you
can’t change what happened. You can’t change the stories that you have heard
about him, and you can’t seem to change the way you feel about it. It’s a strong
momentum within you and you don’t like the way it feels.
You could change the subject and think about things that feel better, but with
something as significant as a parent-and-child relationship, it comes up often.
There are so many reminders around as you see parents with their kids. So, even
though it is important for you to find a way of soothing the resistance, instead
you say things such as “I can’t believe how that guy just left us. I can’t believe
how he turned his back on us.” And with those kinds of thoughts, the negative
momentum gets stronger.
“He never even looked back. I don’t think he even acknowledged that I was
alive. I don’t think he cared about me at all. He certainly didn’t care about the
others. He didn’t care about my mother.” Now the negative momentum is
picking up more speed.
The more thoughts like that you think, the faster the momentum and the worse
you feel. You can get enough strong negative momentum going that you can
hold yourself out of alignment with who-you-really-are for a long time.
But now let’s say you are aware that you do not want to do that. Maybe you
have listened to someone like us. And so you say to yourself, “I just want to feel
better about this. And I really don’t know what my father was thinking. I don’t
know what was going on in his world. Nobody’s really explained to me how he
felt. He may have felt broken. He may not have felt like he had anything to offer
any of us. He may have felt like we were better off without him. I don’t know
what he really felt. I do know that he provided an avenue for me into this time-
space reality. I’m glad about that. And I do know that I had a lot of contrast early