COSMOPOLITAN ·^11WORDS NICOLA FAHEY. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, INSTAGRAM @IAINDOESJOKES
The first thing you
do every morning?
I feel terrible saying
it, but I check my
phone. Insta Stories:
40 minutes of my life
I’ll never get back.
What makes you
happiest?
Putting something in
my body, like food or
drink. I don’t mean
another body part.
Consumption-based,
not sex-based.
Have you had any
Love Island-style
pampering – fake
tan, teeth-whitening?
No. I am from Scotland
and have all my own
teeth, which makes me
some sort of, like, royal.
You’ve said that
you’re happy your
bulge has finally
been getting the
attention it deserves- has it developed
an ego?
The Daily Mail put a
picture up and [added]
a red circle around [my
bulge]. I felt violated!
I don’t have a nickname
for mine – that’s the sort
of thing that will get
you arrested.
What’s been your
worst on-stage
experience?
I was recording a show
for CBBC. I was talking
to an eight-year-old boy
and told him he had a
“f*cking great name”- [it was] something like
Farquar, something
really middle class, and
I swore. At one point
a six-year-old girl cried,
“Mummy, can we go?”
How romantic
are you?
I’m getting
better. I like
the idea of
being romantic because
I think the older you
get, things like giving
presents and being
romantic feels nice.
As you begin to get
older you start to
appreciate making
other people feel good.
What’s the most
romantic thing
you’ve done for
Laura (right)?
Last night was pretty
sexy. I got in after a few
drinks and drunkenly
tidied the house. I’ve
never had my partner
look at me with such
desire in my entire life.
It was when I wasmopping up after a few
tequilas and beers with
my headphones in, just
cleaning up. I had a
pinny on and nothing
else... (I may have made
that last bit up.) I was
absolutely off my face
but I still managed it.
The biggest love
lessonLove Island’s
taught you?
Genuinely, and I don’t
follow this enough
myself, it’sIain Stirling on Love Island
secrets, girlfriend Laura Whitmore
- and house-cleaning in the buff
Ask
me
anything
Iain’s new stand-up tour,
Failing Upwards, is on
6th March to 31st MayQ&A
“be honest”. If you do
something wrong, admit
to it immediately. If you
try to cover it up and
lie about it, it will only
become worse and the
trust will be broken.
Are you and Laura
the next Marvin
and Rochelle?
Thanks for saying
Marvin and Rochelle –
I spoke to someone
recently and they said
Richard and Judy. We
might become the next
power couple, but the
problem is Laura’s
very good – a very
accomplished presenter- and I’m an idiot. I feel
I’d be holding her back.
The
picture in
questionplay celebrity