COSMOPOLITAN ·^85read
HAIR AND MAKE-UP CAMILLA AKEHURST AT LHA REPRESENTS, USING PAUL MITCHELL HAIR AND GLOSSIER. PROP STYLING ELENA HORN. ALL CLOTHES, MODELS’ OWN. *ACCORDING TO THEGUARDIAN.COM. †ACCORDING TO EVENTBRITE.
‡NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGEDThe way Molloy talks about love is practical and mature
- she won’t promise the world, and will put you in your
place if you demand it. Love, she says, isn’t about finding
“the one”, but instead someone who “feels like home”. And
she doesn’t believe in fate. Even though she once, without
knowing their relationship to each other, matched a
divorced couple together... and they remarried. Or the
time she set up a client with a woman he’d spotted on
the street months before and fallen in love with. “If your
wishlist isn’t too long, you’re a relatively normal human
being and accept that everyone has flaws, then you will
meet someone,” she says. But Molloy wouldn’t dream of
attending any of her clients’ weddings. “You don’t invite
your plumber to enjoy your bath, do you?” she cackles.
LIGHTNING STRIKES
I didn’t fully understand what Molloy meant by
“networking” until we headed to London’s Boisdales
Of Belgravia, a Scottish restaurant filled with men with
booming voices and – judging by the menu – bursting
wallets. Molloy hosts an annual Valentine’s party here
and it’s where many of her clients hold their first dates.
The tartan everywhere reminds me of
the dive bars I’d drink in as a teen in
Scotland, but the clientele is entirely
different. Instead of pallid stoners who
need (at least) five black sambucas
before they’ll come over and chat to
you, here, making conversation with
strangers is the norm. Within 30
minutes of arrival, we’ve already spoken
to a record producer weighed down by
gold chains, and a white-haired movie
producer. Both leave with Molloy’s card
clutched in their grip. I keep my eye
out for matches for Amy but can’t spot
any – which doesn’t matter, as Molloy
has already decided what she needs.
“Someone who will take the reigns –
she’s the editor of a very prominent
magazine... she’ll want someone alpha,”
she explains. I keep pressing for more
on this; hoping that Molloy will present
me with the perfect formula for love.
But she doesn’t have it. No one does.
What organisations like Berkeley
International can provide is a buffer –
a shiny one that protects you from all
the crap that comes from dating. And
lately that crap seems to be amplified.
New terms for dating trends are
defined every week (“to ghost” has
even been added to the dictionary),BEHIND THE SCENESCatriona Innes
“When I asked Molloy who she’d match me with,
she paused and said, ‘Someone who, when you
leave them, you say, “He’s a really nice man.” No
one from London. Perhaps a farmer...’ My husband
is a Geordie who charms the majority of people he
comes into contact with. He’s not a farmer, though.
Maybe I should persuade him to retrain?”and pretty much everyone who is actively dating has a
horror story to tell. In real life, “chatting someone up”
has become almost non-existent, seen as a throwback
to a pre-app time. With an agency like Berkeley, sure,
you might go on a few dud dates, but to the degree
of stilted conversation, not “they brought along their
ex/tarantula/mate for a threesome”. Not only does
her team have a strong gut instinct for liars, they also
ensure – via things like background checks, asking to
see divorce papers, and house visits – that people are
exactly who they say they are. The follow-ups after every
date mean that no one gets ghosted – if they don’t want
to see you again, you’ll know (and be told exactly why).
Matchmakers are nothing new – they’ve been around
for centuries within most cultures. In Ancient Greece,
some women would act as go-betweens, delivering
telegrams between couples who wanted to marry (and
offering their verdict on the prospective partners), while
“miai” – a form of matchmaking created as part of
16th-century samurai classes – still exists in Japan today.
But a new yearning for face-to-face contact, brought on by
our ever-increasing reliance on technology, coupled with
us having an expert for all areas of
our lives (PTs, life coaches, therapists)
means it makes sense that they’re
now back in a big way. It’s paying a
professional to get the job done right.
That’s what Berkeley International
offers – Molloy cultivates “grown-up
dating” where people treat each other
as adults, and with respect. Somewhere
along the way we’ve lost that. But
have we really reached the stage
where we have to pay the equivalent
of a house deposit to get it? ◆
The Matchmaker by Catriona Innes
is out nowMAKE ME A
MATCH...
Amy fills us in on her date
“After an intensive interview with
the Berkeley International team,
I waited eagerly for an email to
tell me they’d found me a match.
Photos are not exchanged, just
biographies (written for you by a
professional), and the man is given
the woman’s phone number. My
match is Thomas,‡ a 43-year-old
tech genius who’s into art, speaks a
few languages and loves food and
drink as much as I do. He suggests
meeting in the bar of a five-star
hotel I’ve wanted to try for ages.
It’s actually really nice not knowing
what someone looks like and being
pleasantly surprised. Conversation
flows easily, especially considering
there’s been almost no build-up.
He’s fascinating. Educated, highly
cultured, well-travelled. Despite
coming from different parts of the
country, our values – friends, family,
travel, work ethic, ambition – are
aligned. He pokes fun at my overly
specific drinks order, I poke fun
at him continually bringing up
politics on a first date. OK, so the
chemistry isn’t quite there on either
side, but it’s still one of the most
enjoyable dates I’ve been on.”