Writing Magazine April 2020

Look at the alliteration of smart/spiked

and left/leaves in the second line, and

the consonance of sparkle/tinsel at

the start of the third stanza. There’s

assonance in the chasing/pulsating of

the fourth stanza, and unaccented

rhyme of stocking/waiting in the fifth.

These are just a few examples – there

are plenty more.

The piece relies on rhythm to keep

it spinning along, with an occasional

touch of syncopation to add variety.

The basic full rhyme is relieved, too,

by close slant rhymes; so we see both

full rhymes such as glow and slow,

choir and spire and the near rhymes of

weaved and eve, twist and kiss.

One of the joys of poetry is that it

can occasionally break the rules – and

do it so effectively that the departure

from expectation enhances rather

than detracts from the writing. In no

fewer than five stanzas in The Magic

Of... the second couplet does not

form a grammatical sentence with

a combination of subject and main

verb. Often, this would result in

the elimination of the poem. Here,

however, the device works well. This

is due in no small part to the repeated

stanza openings. Although a full stop

divides stanzas in two, the application

of the I am to both parts is so obvious

that the poet can make the break with

tradition. It’s a daring step to take

in a competition poem, but in this

instance the gamble pays off.

The whole poem builds up to the

climax of the final stanza. In the list of

elements, the title is almost forgotten

while the richness of wording provides

a deluge of images to engage the

reader. At the end, the final couplet

sums up everything that has gone

before, and the open-ended title is

completed to round off a sumptuous,

satisfying read.

The second prize is awarded to

Gillian Dunstan of Sidmouth, Devon

for a poem that focuses on a single,

specific aspect of Christmas and

POETRY WINNERS

http://www.writers-online.co.uk APRIL 2020^57

examines it minutely. All is explained

in the title, Making Mince Pies, but

this poem is not merely about baking.

It uses elements of a recipe, nostalgia,

imagery and anticipation to turn the

act of baking into an act of love.

This is a beautifully balanced free

verse poem, in which each stanza takes

a different angle to keep the focused

poem alive with variety. The first stanza,

full of the sibilance of the plurals,

creates the recipe in non-cookery-book

language. The second reminds the

reader of past times, while the third

brings the poem up to date. The fourth

has a dream-like quality and carries the

reader out of the kitchen and into the

night, while the last has all the intimacy

of a love poem.

This poem, too, has a first-person

narrator, but it moves in tense from

present into recalled past, back into

present and then to the short-term

future. The transitions are smooth

and natural, and add a conversational

feel to the piece.

At its centre, the poem pivots on a

single example of line-end full rhyme,

while the network of slant rhymes

on either side of it has to be spoken

aloud to appreciate the richness of the

wording. Try saying phrases like the

small maw / of a metal mincer, buttery

pastry and all ready to fill glass jars to

savour the taste of the words.

This poem has a feelgood quality

that insinuates a warm glow into the

mind of the reader. Its final comment,

reflecting on the small ceremony / we’ve

repeated down the years / and filled

with love opens up opportunities

for readers to mull over their own

little ceremonies, their own perfect

moments; and while the tie-in with

Christmas is delicious, the wider

picture of these small rituals adds a

more universal quality.

Writing a poem for Christmas

is one ritual that’s certainly worth

cultivating. Have you started on your

Christmas 2020 poem yet?

I weigh black beads of currants,

beige sultanas, walnuts,

and sticky cherries.

Next I add spices,

then tumble all together

with fiery brandy.

Once this was fed

into the small maw

of a metal mincer.

I’d turn the handle,

grind out luscious strings

and stir them into a stiff mix;

that was hard work and slow.

Today, in seconds,

a processor makes

mincemeat of it,

all ready to fill glass jars.

I store them, glowing,

and opulent, knowing

that I must wait for time

to work its magic,

melding the flavours

and maturing them by Christmas.

Then I’ll make buttery pastry

enriched with orange zest.

I’ll cut out stars

to let the dark and glossy mincemeat

shine through icing-sugared crusts –

reminding me of fallen snow

at midnight.

That evening, we’ll light candles.

Sitting around a glittering Christmas tree,

we’ll eat the pies and drink mulled wine

in a small ceremony

we’ve repeated down the years

and filled with love.

RUNNER UP:

GILLIAN DUNSTAN

Making

Mince pie

Also shortlisted in WM’s Christmas Poetry Competition were: Dennis Bryant, North Baddesley, Southampton;
Anna Caddy, Taunton, Somerset; Heather Cook, Woking, Surrey; Alan Coombe, West Norwood, London; Fay Dickinson, Corby,
Northamptonshire; Samuel Dunn, Ballycarry, Co Antrim; Pamela Trudie Hodge, Plymouth, Devon; Anne Lawson, Bolton,
Greater Manchester; Lucy Nankivell, Ferndown, Dorset; Joyce Reed, Marple, Stockport; Viv Seaman, Southend-on-Sea, Essex;
Jane Trenholm, Newbury, Berkshire.