116 Don’t Let A nxiety Run Your Life
One option is to exercise rigid control over your anxiety.
This can give the impression that you are the one in charge.
By just shutting anxiety out of your life with that special
combination of willpower and effort, your problem will be
solved, and you can return to a normal life. The problem
with this strategy is that scientific research shows it doesn’t
necessarily work. As we will discuss a little later, such
attempts can often backfire.
The less stringent path is to approach your emotions in a
more f lexible manner. By accepting your emotional experi-
ence as something that doesn’t require an immediate
response, you will place yourself in a better position.
Emotions naturally ebb and f low on their own. Adaptiveness
and f lexibility are key to fostering a healthy relationship
w it h a n x iet y.
As we will demonstrate in the second half of this chapter,
f lexibility and inf lexibility represent two general rubrics
under which several distinct processes lie. But for now, it will
be helpful to discuss this in a broader framework. As dis-
cussed earlier, emotions emerge as a consequence of events.
For example, your boss informs you that he will have to con-
sider layoffs in the near future; as a result, you feel worry and
concern. On the other hand, you may be delighted to learn
that a close friend will be visiting you next weekend.
Emotions are contextual in nature, corresponding to an
external situation that elicits them. Being able to f lexibly
adapt your emotions in relation to environmental demands
is a hallmark of mental health. Anguish and distress often
occur when certain emotions are inappropriately applied to
situations that don’t warrant them. Can you think of any
examples of inf lexible responding?