chapter 7
Feeling Bad Is
Actually Good
H
ave you ever found yourself struggling to accept a
gift? Maybe someone gave you a gift that was
incredibly disappointing or cringe- worthy and you had to
fake a smile. For instance, what if your wife bought you a
nose- hair trimmer for your birthday or your husband bought
tickets to see his favorite band in concert for your anniver-
sary? W hat if your mother- in- law gave you a Cookbook for
Beginners or your holiday bonus was a cheap keychain with
the company logo on it?
Despite the internal struggle people may have to gra-
ciously accept an inconsiderate gift, most everyone probably
finds a way to feign excitement and express gratitude
(perhaps all the while scheming how to exchange or repur-
pose what they've gotten). Fortunately, most people receive
many more thoughtful and exciting gifts in their lifetime
than they do tactless or insensitive gifts. It turns out that
emotions are a lot like gifts. Oftentimes, you probably enjoy
and welcome your emotional experiences, much like
thoughtful gifts. Nonetheless, certain emotional experi-
ences might feel like a significant threat to your well- being