188 Don’t Let A nxiety Run Your Life
have highlighted throughout this chapter, the answer is
avoidance. From leaving the social encounter altogether to
refraining from maintaining eye contact, there are hundreds
of ways to avoid fully experiencing the situation. The follow-
ing practices will help you foster emotional acceptance by
way of exposure without avoidance.
Before you begin these practices, review the guidelines
we provided in chapter 2. It’s important that you be consis-
tent and patient. Practice daily, and be forgiving with your-
self if you make a mistake!
Exercise 9.1: Identify Your Avoidance and Safety Behav-
iors Before beginning exposure, it’s important to learn in what
ways you use avoidance. A ny ordinary behavior— crossing your
arms or holding onto your drink with a firmer grasp— can be
transformed into a safety behavior. It all depends on the function of
the behavior. How do you know whether a certain behavior counts
as a form of avoidance? You can test yourself by noticing what you
tend to do in a feared situation. Here is your guideline: an avoid-
ance behavior is anything you do to reduce your anxiety or control
the situation. Use the format below (worksheet available at http://
w w w.newharbinger.com/34169) to help you determine what
behaviors you tend to rely on.