192 Don’t Let A nxiety Run Your Life
this technique in a more daunting environment. Try this procedure
again on the different f loors of a tall building. Start with the fifth
f loor and then work your way up to the tenth. Do this repeatedly
and without avoidance. Try to do it not just once or twice a week,
but several times each day. A lso, be cognizant of whether you are
doing subtle things to avoid or control your anxiety. In the end, you
may be in a much better position to ride the roller coaster without
feeling so much dread.
Note that the goal of this practice isn’t for you to feel no anxi-
ety whatsoever. It’s okay if you are a little nervous before riding the
roller coaster. The objective is for you to become much more com-
fortable in these situations so that your life isn’t limited by anxiety.
Example 2
Let’s now imagine that your main complaint is social anxiety.
We can use the same principles here. Again, we are going to focus
on exposure to social situations repeatedly and without avoidance. A
fear hierarchy for social anxiety might have at the bottom some-
thing like talking to a neighbor whom you don’t know very well. At
the top would be something far more frightening , such as giving a
speech before a large audience.
A first step would be to have a brief conversation with your
neighbor, except this time, no avoidance! Look the person in the
eye, be comfortable with long pauses (they are okay!), and don’t try
to rehearse what you want to say. You need to convince your brain
that social situations aren’t dangerous by acting as if there’s no rea-
son to use safety behaviors. From there, gradually work on public
speaking. Start by giving talks to yourself in the mirror. It’s okay if
you feel somewhat silly. In fact, that can work to your advantage, as
it will get you used to feeling self- conscious. Again, do this three
times a day for at least a week. The more you practice it, the more
comfortable you will feel.