Emotional Avoidance 193
Once you begin to make progress, you can even incorporate
intentional faux pas into your social encounters. Try paying for a
cup of coffee using only change, or try walking backward down a
busy street and singing out loud. By acting comfortably in situations
that would normally seem awkward or daunting , you will restruc-
ture your mind to downplay the consequences of social blunders.
What’s the worst that can happen if you pay for a coffee in nickels
and pennies? If people on the street stare at you, then so what? What
you initially perceive will happen is often very different from what
actually happens. Give yourself the opportunity to react differently
to your anxiety, and you will learn how little some of these social
situations matter in the long run. A nd practice, practice, practice!
Repeatedly expose yourself without avoidance and you will train
yourself to enjoy social situations rather than fear them.
Suggested Practices: Internal Fears
Just because you can’t see it in front of you doesn’t mean that
it’s not there. Your thoughts, emotions, and physical symp-
toms all can be potent sources of anxiety. You have learned
how repetitive negative thinking strategies such as worry
and rumination increase your distress over time, given their
function as forms of avoidance. Now it’s time to apply mind-
fulness to the situations you would usually worry about.
Exercise 9.4: Mindful Observation Remember that tech-
niques such as suppression and avoidance have a paradoxical effect.
If you worry about an upcoming event and respond by trying to
rigidly control or suppress your thoughts, your efforts will backfire!
You may be able to avoid your worries in the short term, but they
will surely return. A nd so this cycle repeats over and over again.