MEET THE
EXPERTDr Rebecca Moore
is a perinatal psychiatrist
and mum of two;
doctorrebecca
moore.com
Even before you became pregnant,
we bet you imagined how it
would be what your bump
would look like, the clothes you’d
wear, and what sort of birth
you’d like. And, of course, now
you are pregnant, you want everything to be
perfect. ‘It’s completely natural to have an
idea and expectation of how you’d like your
pregnancy to be,’ says perinatal psychiatrist
Dr Rebecca Moore. ‘While a huge part of it is
wanting the best possible start for your baby,
it’s becoming increasingly common to want
every aspect of your pregnancy to be a certain
way too, from having thick, glossy pregnancy
hair to being thrown the perfect baby shower.
This desire to be perfect can take you by
surprise, especially if you didn’t think of
yourself as a perfectionist before you became
pregnant,’ says Dr Rebecca.
‘After being used to having control over every
aspect of your life, your body and your career,
not being in control can feel overwhelming.
This can lead you to put extra pressure on
yourself to achieve new goals, whether that’s
making every single meal from scratch or
decorating the entire nursery by yourself.
‘Putting yourself under pressure, along
with the already full-time job of growing your
baby, can increase levels of the stress hormone
cortisol,’ says Dr Rebecca. ‘This, combined
with rising levels of pregnancy hormones
progesterone and oestrogen, makes your
amygdala, the part of your brain that
regulates your emotions, even more
super-sensitive, creating a
circle of expectations
that can be tricky
to break
out of,especially if they’re not realisticrightnow.
Taking the pressure off yourselfcan actually
help you feel more in control,calmerand
appreciative of the amazingjobyourbody is
doing,’ says Dr Rebecca. So,discoverhow you
can channel your need forperfectioninto
having a happier, healthier pregnancy and
re ap a whole host of otherbenefitstoo...RECOGNISE YOUR HARDWORK
If your to-do list is lookinglongerthanusual,
with even more things on itthanbeforeyou
became pregnant, it’s likelythat youare
putting extra pressure on yourself.‘Itcan
be hard to admit that there are a fewtoo
many to-dos on your list, especiallyif you’re
used to achieving lots,’ saysDrRebecca.‘But
your body is already workinga lotharder
than it did before you becamepregnant,
so putting yourself under pressureto achieve
the same things (or more) is unrealistic!
Acknowledging all of the thingsyourbody
is working hard to do on adailybasis
such as providing your baby with nutrients,
gr owing his fingernails, keepinghim safe and
protected will help you seeyoualreadyhave
a pretty big to-do list.’ A weeklypregnancy
update serves as a great reminderof allthe
things you’re already doingto nurtureyour
baby sign up for one at motherandbaby.co.uk.PUT YOURSELF FIRST
As you’re already workingsohardduring
pregnancy, now is the timeto put yourself first.
‘Allow your inner pregnancyperfectionistto
help you reduce external stressasmuchas
possible,’ says Dr Rebecca.‘Youmightwantto
ask if you can take on lessat work,reducethe
amount of time you spendonsocialmedia,
and say no to invites or requeststhatare going‘My
antenatal class
really focused on havinga
drug-free birth, whichleftme
feeling that was whatI shouldtry
to have. It started off well,butin
hindsight I wish I’dtakenthe
pressure off myselfandhadan
epidural sooner, ratherthanholding
on to that idea of a “perfect ”birth!’
Sarah Henshaw,29,from
West Sussex, ismum
to Preston, twoBump&Birthmotherandbaby.co.uk | April 2020 | 21