MEETTHE
EXPERTJennifer Miller is
author of Confident
Parents, Confident
Kids (£12.99, Fair Winds
Press), and a mum of
one; confidentparents
confidentkids.orgKNOWINGRecognising your little one’spersonality traits – and yourown – will benefit you bothKnowing you,I
t’s pretty amazing to think that
from the moment your baby was
born, he had his own, innate way
of responding to new situations
and new people. Whether he shied
away from Granny when she first
held him, or looked wide-eyed with
curiosity when you introduced him to
his new home, his reaction will be much
like an emotional reflex.
Your baby is born with a mix of certain
temperaments, but they are not set in stone- they can be shaped by his environment
and, as he grows, he may learn to change
his reactions to fit social situations. That’s
not to say you can scold or persuade your
tot out of a tantrum – but parenting
with warmth and sensitivity to his
temperaments can decrease
his upsets and outbursts.
Temperaments can be
a significant source of
conflict within a family
particularly when
there are a mix of
temperaments that
are seemingly at
odds with each
other. Your
child’s
emotional tendencies may differ from yours
or your partner’s – you might struggle to
recognise, understand or relate to your
boisterous, attention-loving baby if you’re
more of a shy and retiring type. Each
temperament, though, has a positive
intent: to support your child’s survival
and development. From the most cautious
child who may be saved from danger
because of his risk aversion, to the
persistent child who you can’t divert from
the task at hand because he stays so
focused, if you identify his specific
temperaments, you can discover how to
nurture them to benefit your child.
But first off, you need to identity your
child’s temperaments, and what better way
than with a quiz? There are no right or
wrong answers here – simply get out your
pencil, jot down your responses, and
discoveryourchild’stemperament
profiles. Andbesure toconsiderthe
questionsaimedat discoveringyour
character traits too. Whetheryou
find that you and yourtot are two
peasina pod,orlikechalkand
cheese,identifyinghow youmight
besimilar–or different– from
yourchildcanpositivelyinform
yourparentingchoices...meWin!
Want more of Jennifer’s
great parenting advice?
We’ve got 10 copies of
Confident Parents, Confident
Kids (£12.99, Fair Winds Press) to
give away. Enter (it’s free!) at
winit.motherandbaby.co.uk
by 17 March 2020.JENNIFER S. MILLER, M.ED.RAISING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IN OURSELVES AND OUR KIDS— FROM TODDLERS TO TEENAGERSBaby&Toddlermotherandbaby.co.uk | April 2020 | 53