Baby&Toddlermotherandbaby.co.uk| April 2020 | 71START THE STAY-AND-SUPPORT SLEEP SOLUTION‘The Stay-and-Support method of soothing a baby to sleep
works for 98 per cent of babies,’ says Lucy. ‘But the length of
time it takes varies. If your baby’s under two, it should take
two to three weeks to see results. If she’s over two, it will be
more like three weeks, and if she’s over three, it will take
slightly longer still. That’s because the older a baby is, the
more resistant she will be to change.’ The guidelines below
are for a baby aged between six months and a year. Follow
them – but be flexible about timings. Make sure your baby is
relaxed with each stage before you move on to the next one.STAGETWO:INTHE
MIDDLEOFTHEROOM
In stagetwo, insteadof sitting
bythecot,sitin themiddleof
theroom.Fromthere youcan
singorhum.If sheprotests
distractherby returningto her
anddrummingonthemattress
orgentlyblowingonherface.
Whenshe’s settled,goback
tothemiddleof theroomand
singorhumagain.
‘Eachtimeyougoto a new
st age,bereadyforyourbaby to
fussuntilshegets usedto it,’
sayLucy.‘It shouldbeeasierfor
yourbaby to get usedto stage
twothanto stageone, because
she’s alreadyonthejourney of
learningto self-soothe.’Forlots
ofbabiesyouonlyhaveto do
thisforthreenightsbefore
you’rereadyto moveon.STAGETHREE:
BESIDETHEDOOR
‘Thisstageis exactlythesame
asstagetwo, exceptthatnow
youare sittingbesidethedoor
toyourbaby’sroom,’saysLucy.
‘Dothisforthreenights,or
longerif youfeelthat’s needed,
before moving on to stage four.’STAGE FOUR:
OUTSIDE THE ROOM
‘This is the last stage,’ says Lucy.
‘You’re moving out of your
baby’s room altogether – sitting
just outside, within humming
distance.’ Again, it may take as
little as three nights before
you’ll find your baby is happy
to be put down in her cot and
to see you leaving the room.
Bedtime nailed!STAGE ONE: NEXT TO THE COT
‘By six months, your baby has
started on solid foods,’ says Lucy.
‘Her digestive system is more
mature and she doesn’t need milk
just before she goes to sleep. So,
give your baby her last milk feed of
the day at least 45 minutes before
bedtime. This means she won’t
be hungry and she won’t feel
uncomfortably full – or gassy!’
Go through your normal sleep
routine, turn off the lights, and put
your baby, still awake, into her cot.
Now sit down on the floor, next to
her, so you’re at the same level. ‘The
idea is to let your baby know you’re
present, but to slowly reduce the
amount of help you’re giving her to
get to sleep,’ says Lucy.
If your baby’s been used to lots of
physical contact with you, you may
decide you’ll keep a physical
connection on the first night, by
gently rubbing her chest for
example, until she goes to sleep.
‘Just don’t let her hold onto you by
grabbing your hand or finger,’ says
Lucy. ‘If you do that your hand or
finger could become a sleep prop- something she needs to nod off.’
At the beginning, your baby will
fuss and you’ll respond to her
quickly. But as you listen, you’ll begin
to understand when your baby’s
noises mean that she needs you and
when she’s just having a pre-sleep
grizzle. Use your judgment about
how long to give it before you pat
her. ‘With some babies I wait up to
three minutes before getting
involved, with other babies it can be
up to seven minutes,’ says Lucy.
After a night – or a couple of
nights – reduce the contact again.
Still sitting on the floor by your baby,
show her you’re present: but just use
your voice, humming or singing.
Again, do this until she falls asleep.
You’ll need to work with whatever
is natural for your baby, but at this
stage you’re looking to reach a point
where your baby is relaxed about
going into the cot and settling off to
sleep with you sitting beside her, not
doing much apart from humming or
saying shush. This might take four
nights – or up to 14 nights!
But when you feel that your baby
is settled into her ‘new normal’, you
can move on to stage two.