2020-04-01_Mother_&_Baby

BEHAVIOUR

My son is

almost three

and has started

shouting that he

hates me when

he doesn’t get his

own way. How can

I deal with this?

Rachel Gorton,

Luton

Firstly, remember that
when coming from a child,
‘hate’ doesn’t translateto
what we understand itto
mean as adults: for them
it’s an impulse word
signifying loss of control.
So when your toddler
throws this word around,
what he really means is,‘I
can’t handle this situation.’
So what do you do? Don’t
engage with it, and don’t
draw attention to it. When
your toddler sees it’s a
sure-fire way to grab your
attention, he’ll try it again
and again. Instead,
address his frustration.So
if your little one has just
said ‘I hate you Mummy’
because you won’t give
him chocolate, ignore the
‘hate’ word and insteadsay
‘I understand you feel
cross with me, that’s OK.’
Letting him know you
understand why he might
be feeling frustrated
shows empathy, without
drawing attention to the
dreaded ‘H’ word. TN

Q

I’d been expecting the terrible twos

but my 17-month-old has started

having tantrums already, and I’ve no

idea how to calm her down. And suggestions?

Natasha Knott, Swansea

Q

The ‘terrible twos’ can certainly

start a lot earlier than your

child’s second birthday party.

There are two ways to deal with

tantrums at this age – distraction

or choices. When your little one

is mid temper tantrum, try to

distract her by getting excited

over something else. Run over

to the window and say “Oh wow

• look at that squirrel outside!”
  By distracting her she will soon
  forget what she was having a
  tantrum about. The other option
  is to give her a choice so that she
  feels in control. So, for example,
  if she is having a meltdown
  because you won’t let her watch
  TV, say ‘would you like to play
  with your ball, or draw’ and let
  her make the choice. Sometimes
  tantrums are purely because
  young children want to have
  ownership over something. TN

How can I encourage my

11-month-old to start moving?

She seems happy sitting and doesn’t

even try to cruise or crawl.

Julia Finch, Reading

You can help your baby to crawl by encouraging her

to spend time on her tummy. Start with just one or

two minutes of tummy time to begin with and then

gradually build it up – turn to the tummy-time special

on page 41 for ideas of how to do this. Putting a

favourite toy just out of reach in front of her, or

in a half circle around her, is another good way of

motivating her to move and reach. But keep in

mind that some babies never crawl. They

bottom shuffle and then walk, or they go

straight to standing and walking.

If your baby reaches 18 months

and isn’t yet walking, talk to

your GP or health visitor. TN

motherandbaby.co.uk | April 2020 | 79

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